Wednesday, November 30, 2011

If you sprinkle while you tinkle...

I think every guy has come up with this idea at one point or another... well, someone finally went and invented it.

The most surprising thing about this to me is how British people say "urinals."

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

I know zombies traditionally move slow...

...but goddamn Walking Dead, are we really already done with Episode 5 this season and we are still looking for Sophia?

I don't mind a slow-moving show with a lot of character development and intrigue... but this is just a slow-moving show. None of the characters have developed. There's no intrigue.

It's time to speed this apocalypse up!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Every zombie kill on The Walking Dead

I don't like Miser's cover of "Zombie"... I don't like the first 80 seconds of Rick walking out of the hospital... and I know they missed more than a few.

But still, this will get you in the mood for tonight's Season 2 premiere!

Every Zombie Kill in "The Walking Dead" from Flavorpill on Vimeo.

UPDATE: Ut-oh... looks like they took the video down! Bastards.

This isn't every kill, but it's a giant-sized recap.

Also: Check out Nerve's Five Things The Walking Dead Needs To Do In Season Two.

I agree with most of their points, although I don't think they "forgot" about Merle as much as they're saving him to turn into a Big Bad -- one who will be familiar to those of us who read the comics. Still, I have to agree with the big points: Keep it moving, keep it creepy (not just gory), and sometimes, you have to have some humor. Daryl and Glenn shared some great lines in Season One... keep it up!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Too Much Moneyball

I'm sure they didn't mean to do this, but this video perfectly sums up the counter-argument to people who say the Yankees spend too much money on players.

"$400 million in ticket sales... $75 million from our cable network... $5 million in Derek Jeter bobbleheads. What are we going to do with all of it?"

"We could keep it?"

That's basically it. Yes, the Yankees spend more on their payroll than other other team. They also make more money than any other team. What do you want the Yankees to do with their money? Do you want the Steinbrenners to put it into their pocket? Or put it into their product?

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Amish 4 Life

Eight Amish men in Kentucky were recently jailed for refusing to attach orange reflective triangles to their buggies.

It's true. Here are their mugshots:

The men, from the hardcore Old Order Swartzentruber Amish -- that's O.G., yo -- don't have a problem with reflectors. Their problem is with the color orange.

It seems the OOSA think that the color orange is too garish. They agreed to use gray reflective tape, but the state said they gray tape wasn't visible enough during the day.

Um... what? Listen, if you don't see a horse and buggy on the side of the road during the day, is an orange triangle really going to help? Maybe the problem isn't the Amish, but Kentucky drivers?

But that's not even my biggest problem with this. The Amish, when arrested, were issued the typical prison jumpsuits. But instead of the usual orange jumpsuits, they were issued jumpsuits that had been dyed gray.

So... the state agrees that they shouldn't be forced to wear orange?

Case dismissed.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

What The Hell Do I Know? NFL 2011 Edition!

It's fun to make these predictions in September, because then it gives you something to laugh at in February.

AFC East
New York Jets (11-5)
I'm not sure the offense is that much better with Plaxico Burress and Derrick Mason instead of Braylon Edwards and Jerricho Cotchery. It's just impossible to know what either guy has left in the tank. But the defense is still one of the best in the NFL, as is the O-line. I expect a lot of low-scoring, ugly wins... but they will be wins.

New England Patriots (10-6)
Mrs. Tom Brady agrees with my prediction... Pats will finish 2nd in 2011I'm not sure why everyone is just handing the AFC East to the Patriots this year; just out of habit, I suppose? The Patriots signed 34-year-old Shaun Ellis, 30-year-old Albert Haynesworth and 32-year-old Andre Carter for the defense, and 33-year-old Chad Ochocinco for offense. Everyone is praising them for those signings. If any other team signed those four, would they be called smart, or desperate? Tom Brady is coming off an unbelievable year, but his offensive line isn't the stone wall it used to be. I think they will be good, but not good enough to hold off the Jets and win the division.

Buffalo Bills (6-10)
When do they actually start trying to rebuild? Or do they really think they can build a playoff team around Ryan Fitzpatrick? They are just good enough to be almost mediocre.

Miami Dolphins (5-11)
They still have a good defense, but what's going to happen with the offense? Will they pretend Reggie Bush is a real running back, or will they use him as a slot receiver/scatback/pain in the ass? That would probably play to Chad Henne's strengths, assuming he has any. Will Tony Sparano be the first coach fired in 2011?

AFC North
Even Andy Dalton asks... who the fuck is Andy Dalton?Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4)
The Steelers are like Knish in Rounders. They just grind it out, week after week, year after year. Nothing flashy, but it earns enough to buy you a delivery truck. Or something.

Baltimore Ravens (10-6)
It must be frustrating to be in the same division as the Steelers. And the Browns are catching up.

Cleveland Browns (7-9)
Creeping toward respectability.

Cincinnati Bengals (3-13)
Yeah... Andy Dalton is the quarterback now. Who dey! Who dey! Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengals? Anybody!

AFC South
Chris Johnson isn't even waiting until February to laugh at my predictions.Tennessee Titans (10-6)
What the hell, I'll go out on a limb and pick an upset. The offense will be better and the defense is still pretty good. They definitely don't win the division if #18 is healthy in Indy or #23 is healthy in Houston. But they're not. So, yeah! Write it down, Titans are the AFC South champs! Man, this will be hilarious in February.

Houston Texans (9-7)
I know Arian Foster says he's healthy, and maybe he plays in all 16 games this year, but I just keep thinking about Darrelle Revis last year when he tried to come back from that hammy. It takes awhile to get back to 100%. The offense is good, but not good enough to make up for this horrible defense.

Indianapolis Colts (8-8)
If Peyton Manning was 100%, what would you predict... another 10-win season? So let's say he misses the first month of the season, and the Colts go 0-3. Then he comes back on Oct. 3 (conveniently, for the Monday Night game against Tampa Bay). 8-5 seems like a reasonable prediction the rest of the way.

Jacksonville Jaguars (6-10)
It would have been fun to predict everyone in this division at 8-8, but why oh why did the Jags have to their quarterback a week before the season starts -- especially when his replacement is Luke McCown?

AFC West
Conversion rate: 1 Jackson = 2 Naanees or 3¼  AjirotutusSan Diego Chargers (11-5)
Remember all those games last season when you had to figure out how to spell Legedu Naanee and Seyi Ajirotutu to sign them as free agents for your fantasy football team? A full season of Vincent Jackson will help.

Kansas City Chiefs (7-9)
The Chiefs had an easy schedule last year; this year is a lot tougher.

Oakland Raiders (6-10)
They should be fun to watch, anyway.

Denver Broncos (6-10)
They won't be fun to watch. They're not really a six win team, but their home field advantage gives them a couple extra wins every season.

NFC East
Philadelphia Eagles (12-4)
Yeah, I guess I'm buying the hype. The defense should be very good. Michael Vick, assuming he doesn't miss half the season, can just take over a football game. His O-line isn't very good, but then again, forcing Vick to scramble is just a bad idea anyway.

Dallas Cowboys (9-7)
Conveniently, Andrew Luck already looks good in red and whiteGetting rid of Wade Phillips is worth three wins.

New York Giants (6-10)
The injuries are already piling up. I think this will be Tom Coughlin's last season, finally.

Washington Redskins (3-13)
Daniel Snyder is supposedly a huge fan of John Beck. Somehow I don't think that will stop him from drafting Andrew Luck.

NFC North
Green Bay Packers (12-4)
If you can win a Super Bowl without Jermichael Finley, what will they be able to do with him? Repeat!Yes, I am a big homer. But they won the Super Bowl last year even after losing all those players to injuries. Now they're back at full strength. And the rest of this division just isn't very good.

Chicago Bears (8-8)
Am I the only one who saw the Bears play last year? They went 11-5, yeah... but they had four wins against third-string quarterbacks and one win gifted by the refs on the so-called Calvin Johnson Rule. They're good on defense and great on special teams, but their offense is awful.

Detroit Lions (8-8)
So many people think the Lions are underrated, they're now overrated. Their defense is good and getting better, but their offense is still Calvin Johnson, an injury prone quarterback and no running game.

Minnesota Vikings (6-10)
The Vikings, even post-Favre, were an old team... then they went and traded for Donovan McNabb. They lost Sidney Rice and Ray Edwards and Pat Williams. Last year they won 6 games. We'll see if they can do it again.

NFC South
Atlanta Falcons (11-5)
Did the Falcons secretly bring back Jerry Glanville?It looked like the run-n-shoot was back this preseason as Matt Ryan was airing it out. The offense should be able to put up lots of points; even if the defense is just mediocre, that should be enough to win some shoot-outs. Yee haw!

New Orleans Saints (10-6)
The Drew Brees Show is still fun to watch, but it is getting a little predictable, no?

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-9)
I'm still not quite sure how they got to 10 wins last year.

Carolina Panthers (5-11)
Well, watching Cam Newton should be fun...

NFC West
Arizona Cardinals (8-8)
Larry Fitzgerald: Hey, we're going to have a quarterback this year? Cool!Hey, when you're in the NFC West, anything can happen. The Cards have a better quarterback in Kevin Kolb, which is good news for Larry Fitzgerald's fantasy owners. But they still seem to have no idea what to do at running back. Still, .500 should be good enough to win what continues to be the worst division in the NFL.

St. Louis Rams (7-9)
Hey, good running back, developing quarterback... even if they wind up with the same record as last year, they're still moving in the right direction. And since this is the NFC West, one lucky break could make them the division champions.

San Francisco 49ers (7-9)
Like the Bills, the 49ers don't seem to have a particular rebuilding plan. Once again, it's Alex Smith running the show... for the first five or six games, anyway. But once again... you never know what's going to happen in the NFC West.

Seattle Seahawks (5-11)
Um, OK. Yes, this is the NFC West, but we probably know the Seahawks aren't going to win the division behind Tarvaris Jackson.

Playoffs Round 1:
Baltimore @ San Diego: San Diego
New England @ Tennessee: Patriots
Dallas @ Atlanta: Falcons
New Orleans @ Arizona: Saints

Playoffs Round 2:
San Diego @ New York: Jets
New England @ Pittsburgh: Steelers
Atlanta @ Philadelphia: Falcons
New Orleans @ Green Bay: Packers

Playoffs Round 3:
New York @ Pittsburgh: Jets
Atlanta @ Green Bay: Packers

Super Bowl:
Packers 24, Jets 13

See you in February!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Separated at birth?

Is it just me or...

Francisco Cervelli

Jake Gyllenhaal

Doesn't Francisco Cervelli look an awful lot like Jake Gyllenhall?

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

No more "Dan Marino Play"?

The NFL adopted quite a few rules this off-season. Here's a list.

A lot of people have been talking about kickoffs from the 35 instead of the 30, challenges on all scoring plays coming from the replay official instead of the coaches, and the "Boise State Rule" outlawing playing surfaces that aren't green. But I was intrigued by this rule:

Rule 7-2-1-C: An official shall declare the ball dead and the down ended ... when a quarterback immediately drops to his knee (or simulates dropping to his knee) behind the line of scrimmage.

Does that mean the Dan Marino Play would now be considered illegal?

Sadly, no... as you can see, Marino doesn't do any shennanigans after the snap. Makes the "I'm going to spike it" motion before, but doesn't bend his knee or do anything that could be considered "simulating" a kneel down.

So I guess it's still Aaron Glenn's fault.

Monday, August 15, 2011


This is great, but...

Really, you don't include this?

Or especially... this?

Come on!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Look! Up in the sky!

The United States military is apparently working on a giant spy blimp.

Two blimps, actually: The Air Force wants to call theirs "Blue Devil" (pictured above), while the Army wants their own blimp called the Long Endurance Multi-intelligence Vehicle, or LEMV (pictured below).

The Air Force wins the "cooler name" round, obviously. And it's probably not a good idea to plaster "U.S. Army" on the side of your spy blimp. I mean, sure, the bad guys are going to notice it -- it's a fucking blimp -- but at least you have a chance of someone thinking it's from Goodyear or something. "Hey look... is the Super Bowl in Fallujah this year?"

The story is great, but even better is the comment battle over whether a blimp is easy to shoot down or tough to shoot down. The consensus seems to be that it would be easy for a first-rate military with advanced air defenses to bring one down, but that's exactly where you wouldn't use one of these things.

Of course, when I saw this, all I thought was... "Hey, cool! They've got a blimp!"

Sunday, June 19, 2011

What were they offended at?

Don't get spun!

Some are claiming that the Obama impersonator at the Republican Leadership Conference was removed from the stage after poking fun at Obama's bi-racial roots.


Watch the video. He's killing with the Obama jokes. Things start to go off the rails when he pokes a little fun at John Boehner, then he completely crashes and burns when he starts down the list of GOP candidates.

The Washington Post would have you believe that he was lifted because of "racially themed jokes about the President." Seriously, WaPo? Did you even watch the video before you embedded it?

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Scream at your food!

I'm not a vegan, I'm not into black metal, and I'm not a chef. But somehow I love Vegan Black Metal Chef!

You can also check out Episode 1 -- pad thai!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Those Wacky Weiners

Huma Abedin -- aka Mrs. Anthony Weiner -- popped up on right-wing radars long before the Weinergate scandal. Wingnuts started claiming in 2007 that she was Hillary Clinton's Muslim lesbian lover. (I wonder what the bigger scandal would be in their eyes -- that Hillary is with a woman, or a Muslim?)

Huma Abedin and her girlfriend

Presumably getting married to Anthony Weiner didn't prove that Abedin wasn't a lesbian. I guess then getting pregnant doesn't prove anything, either. Viewed through this warped prism, Weiner's sexting makes sense... he married a lesbian! He needed an outlet! No wonder he was sending pictures of his raging hard-on across the country!

So if Huma is a lesbian, why get married to a man? She's not running for office. Why not just stay a single woman and fuck whoever you want in the privacy of your own home, instead of complicating things with a sham marriage? You see, it's all an elaborate ruse -- not for Huma's benefit, but for Hillary's! Because Hillary has to prove she's a heterosexual, presumably to make it easier for her to run for president in 2016. After all, we all know that five years from now the hot topic on everyone's mind is going to be, "who does 68-year-old Hillary Clinton have sex with -- Bill or Huma?" I'm sure there are millions of homophobes out there who would vote for Hillary, if only they were sure she wasn't a closeted lesbian.

All Hillary needs to do is convince every woman ever suspected of being her girlfriend to get married and then immediately get pregnant. That will surely convince everyone that Hillary is straight, and the gay haters will finally be able to vote for her.

Um. OK.

The first odd thing about the Weiner-Abedin arrangement is the fact that he's a Jew and she's a Muslim. Now we add the fact that he's a horny sex fiend and she's a lesbian.

Anthony and Huma... together forever!

Can we get a sit com out of this?

He's a feisty New York Jew who loves women!

She's an uptight Muslim who also loves women!

And guess what... THEY'RE HAVING A BABY!

Special guest stars -- Bill and Hillary Clinton as the godparents!

Those Wacky Weiners, coming soon to a Fox affiliate near you!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

If you were gay...

Tough times for John Edwards. The former golden boy has been indicted on felony charges alleging he used $925,000 donated by campaign supporters to hush up his mistress/baby mama. Experts -- even some conservative Republicans -- say it will be a tough case to prove.

But I keep thinking about how Ann Coulter implied Edwards was gay back in 2007.

Way to prove her wrong, Johnny! Knocking up your mistress is a pretty good indication you aren't gay. Unless...

Maybe this is all just an elaborate cover-up! Wow. Way to go all out, Edwards!

All things considered, I think he'd have been better off going the Jim McGreevey route. Even in middle America, I'm pretty sure being a Gay American is better than being a douchebag who cheated on his dying wife.

What do you think, Newt?

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Oh, Canada!

Man, that new T-Mobile Girl is cute as a button, ain't she?

Carly Foulkes, aka the T-Mobile Girl

Though she looks like the all-American girl next door, the T-Mobile Girl -- aka Carly Foulkes -- is actually from the Great White North. That's right, boys -- anything you say to her is being transmitted back to her Ottawan overlords.

Here she is on the cover of Elle... in Spanish. I thought they spoke French up there?

Carly Foulkes on the cover of Elle Magazine

So be careful around this Manitoba Mata Hari. Remember, she... she... ah, who am I kidding. No matter what I say you are going to chewan her saskatch and peg her winni. Just don't say I didn't warn you!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Signs of life?

Did you know... that Jorge Posada is hitting .230/.330/.460 this season vs RHP?

That's not good for a DH, but hey... it's not hopeless. Over his last 24 at-bats, he has 8 hits (3 doubles), for a .333 BA and .583 SLG. And add in seven walks over that span, and that's an OBP close to .500.

Maybe there's still some life left in the old man's bat, at least against right-handed pitching. Luckily, Andruw Jones is putting up an .861 OPS vs LHP.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

It's the end of the world as we know it...

Supposedly, the end of the world begins at 6 p.m. Lots of people, including Anderson Cooper, have said "I don't know if that's Eastern time or Pacific time." Well, I do. Supposed prophet Harold Camping is quoted in this article saying it is 6 p.m. in each local time zone. It's a "rolling rapture" apparently.

Christmas Island -- how appropriate, I guess -- is the "latest time zone" according to this site. And it's now... Saturday, 6:12 p.m. on Christmas Island, and apparently all is well. I guess no apocalypse tonight. I guess just to be safe he has until Saturday at midnight before people start saying he's wrong.

He was wrong once before, in 1994. I guess he'll just break out the Bible and the calculator and come up with a new date. I doubt he'll be around in 17 years to see the next one though, as he's 89.

So what was the point? It's not like he wanted to drum up attention for his church -- the guy has been a laughingstock for a month. If he's right, his church is irrelevant (because all true believers are in heaven). If he's wrong, everyone knows he's a joke. So it couldn't have been publicity.

Could it have been... money? This article says he raised $18 million in donations... just in one year, 2009. Who knows how much he raised last year and this year. I suppose it's easy to raise money from people who think the world is about to end.

Pretty amazing that a guy who not only predicts bullshit, but predicts bullshit twice, can raise that much money!

Anyway... how many bars are going to be playing that R.E.M. song above over the next 24 hours? Boring!

If you're looking for a song to go out on, how about "Rapture" by Blondie:

(Is that Flavor Flav?! No... no it isn't.)

If the earthquakes actually start, though, sign me up for Pink Floyd.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

How awesome is this?

I'm sure this took a tremendous amount of time... and you know what? It was well worth it.

Apparently this has become quite the meme. There's a Lord of the Rings version, an Inglourious Basterds version and a Dark Knight version. And of course, you can't have a meme without Hitler reacting to it.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

'The Killing' -- it's not what you think

AMC's The Killing
Once again, a marketing department does its best to chase away the right audience from a promising new show.

After seeing the commercials for AMC's The Killing on heavy rotation, I assumed it wasn't a show for me. It looked like it was some kind of Law & Order: SVU rip-off... cops tracking down the serial killer of the week.

It's not that at all.

The Killing isn't a typical police procedure, more like a mystery novel. It unfolds slowly, even though the two-hour pilot takes place over a single day. Think Mystic River, not SVU or CSI.

The pilot is re-airing Sunday at 8 p.m. (followed by the second episode at 10 o'clock). Ignore the commercials; if you like a good mystery, give it a try.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Um... really?

I was hoping this was an April Fool's Day prank. Alas, it's still with us on April 2.

Snooki of Jersey Shore speaking at Rutgers... WTF?

So let me get this straight. An institute of higher education -- the university that runs around proclaiming itself THE State University of New Jersey, even though there are other state universities in New Jersey -- not only pays $32,000 to an idiot, but to an idiot who has become rich and famous for trashing our state's reputation to the world. And an idiot who isn't even from New Jersey, no less.

Rutgers University's defense is that the university didn't invite her to speak there -- some students did. And the students paid for her two-hour appearance themselves, not using university funds.

If this is truly the case, then all I can say is: It's time to up your admission standards. Set the bar somewhere above moron, please.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Why 4th is 5th

Ivan Nova

It doesn't mean much, but sportswriters keep calling Ivan Nova the fourth starter and Freddy Garcia the fifth starter. But when the season opens, I think you'll see a rotation with Garcia followed by Nova.

This doesn't mean I think Garcia is better than Nova. I'm just remembering something that the sportswriters have apparently forgotten -- the Yankees in recent years have been very careful with young arms. The 24-year-old Nova pitched 187 innings last year, but just 42 of those came in the big leagues. By making Nova the #5, they can skip him periodically throughout the year, saving some innings for September.

Monday, March 7, 2011

The strange progression of 'Lights Out'

I really like Lights Out. I better enjoy it now, because the ratings don't make a second season likely.

The conventional wisdom surrounding the late and lamented Terriers was that FX's marketing department didn't do it any favors with a minimalist, avant-garde ad campaign that usually just featured a little snarling dog. That, and the title, convinced a lot of people it was a show about dogs, not private investigators.

Lights Out went the other way, with an ad campaign that made clear it was all about boxing... lots and lots of boxing.

But if you watched the first few episodes, there was hardly any boxing. It was mostly about a family man with financial problems, struggling to find a way to keep up his million-dollar lifestyle even though he can no longer do the only thing he was ever good at -- being a boxer.

So, once again, a problem for FX's marketing department. If you're a fan of boxing, you saw those commercials and tuned in -- only to see a compelling family drama with just a dash of boxing mixed in. If you don't like boxing, you didn't give the show a try -- and likely missed out.

So who is watching it? I guess weirdos like me who like shows about boxing but also like shows about family dramas.

But the last few episodes, Lights Out has turned into a series mostly about boxing, with the family stuff there but increasingly playing a smaller role. It's as if it's finally caught up to the initial ad campaign. Hopefully some of the boxing fans will come back.

Assuming there are enough boxing fans left in the world to make a difference, anyway.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Walking Dead: The Video Game?

First the comic book, then the TV show, now the video game?

It'll be tough to make a Walking Dead video game that's not simply Left 4 Dead. In fact, the TV series often seemed heavily influenced by the first-person shooter.

For example, it's clear in the comic books that zombies don't climb fences or bash open doors, but some do in the TV series -- just like they do in Left 4 Dead.

They're also a lot faster (when they get "riled up") on the TV show than they are in the comics. Probably two reasons for this -- slow zombies are kind'a boring, and 28 Days Later has everyone expecting fast zombies as well.

(In the original Left 4 Dead, Zoey memorably calls "zombie bullshit" on the speed of zombies in the game.)

Given the fact that all of Left 4 Dead is straight up first-person shooter -- and the fact that most of the Walking Dead comic book series is about humans, not zombies -- I think there's a lot of room for a video game that's more role-playing/strategy than just point and shoot.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Wendy had it coming!

After watching this, I have re-evaluated The Shining.

I believe all these intros were from one of her Showtime series on fairy tales and legends (she did five of them apparently).

By the end of this, I was really rooting for Jack.

Monday, January 24, 2011

An Open Letter to Sam Shields

Dear Sam Shields,

As a Green Bay Packer fan, I am flying high right now. You deserve big ups for your play last night -- two INTs, including the game-clincher, plus a sack and a forced fumble.

But Sam, Sam, Sam -- when you intercept the ball with a 7-point lead and less than a minute remaining, why are you running? You've won the game! You're even covering the spread! Just take a knee before you fumble the ball.

Your buddy Tramon Williams did the same thing when he picked off Michael Vick in the first round. Catch the ball and sit down!

Running with the ball after the interception was silly, but that wasn't even your most egregious mistake of the night. That would have to be your rude interruption of B.J. Raji's sexy bear dance.

Rookie, you do not jump on B.J. Raji when he is doing his thing! Who knows what awesomeness would have ensued had he been allowed to continue for another few minutes.

Now B.J. will just have to run back another pick-6 in the Super Bowl so we can see the epic conclusion. And this time I hope you keep your distance.



Monday, January 17, 2011

'Lights Out' looks like a really good show

I could have gone with, like, 'Lights Out' is a knockout or 'Lights Out' is hard-hitting fun or, uh Leave the 'Lights Out' on or whatever, but I'm just going to tell it to you straight: This looks like it's going to be a really good show. Assuming it doesn't get canceled, Terriers-style.

I don't want to give too much away, but from the commercials, everybody knows that Lights Out is a boxing show about a Great White Hope. Right? Rocky on TV? Not exactly. The main character is a boxer, but he's retired and quickly running out of money, and his options for making more are getting bleaker and bleaker. The boxer, Patrick "Lights" Leary, is played by Holt McCallany, who I never heard of before. I think he looks like a puffier version of Jimmy Smits, somehow?

Holt McCallany in Lights Out... come on, don't you see a little Smits there?

No? Whatever. Anyway, you might remember Holt from a bunch of guest appearances on various cop procedurals or maybe as the guy who wanted to build a house before he died in Fight Club (6 minutes, 57 seconds).

Playing his wife is Catherine McCormack, who has to decide if she's going to hide her English accent or not. Catherine played William Wallace's wife Murron in Braveheart.

And it also has Stacy Keach, who has been in about a million things. He was in American History X with Edward Norton, who of course also was in Fight Club; do you think Stacy and Holt sit around and tell Edward Norton stories?

I loved the first episode of "Lights Out", which did a great job slowly unfolding the story through flashbacks. I also really like Holt; he has a great way of conveying menace by just standing there. I just hope the show gets a fair chance; apparently the pilot episode drew a Terrier-sized audience. Not a good sign.

While it's on, Lights Out is on Tuesdays at 10 on FX.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Walking Dead marathon!

For those who missed Walking Dead, AMC is doing a two-night marathon of the entire series, starting Tuesday night at 8. If you're not sure if the series is for you, or even if you're pretty sure the series is definitely not for you, at least watch the first episode. It's great.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Bugsy Malone is... trendy?

I woke up this morning to discover that Bugsy Malone is trending on Twitter, 35 years after it was released! (Apparently it was on TV in England last night.)

It's probably a good thing that Bugsy Malone is never on TV in this country, because I'd wind up sucked into it every time. Scott Baio, Jodie Foster and guns that shoot cream pies? What's not to like!

For those really feeling nostalgic, you can find out what happened to everybody after they made "the world's most famous kids gangster movie".

If you just can't get enough, here's Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 and (sheesh) Part 5. That last one has the sad end of Dandy Dan (Martin Lev), who was one of my favorites.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Spread Your Song

It's a little unusual to have two commercials running at the same time using the same relatively obscure song, isn't it?

It's nice to see Ellis from Diehard is finally getting some work again. You'd think a bullet through the head would end your acting career, but here he is, back in action. Way to go Ellis!

"Hans... bubbe! I'm your white knight."

This is one of those commercials where, if you're not paying attention, you have no idea what the fuck they're trying to sell you. And hearing that distinct song, you probably think, "wow, those Ketel One people drank a lot of vodka before making their next commercial." For the record, it's a commercial for the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas hotel. I'd have to say the weirdest moment for me is when the woman is lying in bed making sexy eyes while holding up the baby chicks. Is this like... bestiality kiddie porn? Not cool. The deer also looks a little worried. I guess what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

OK, so what exactly is that song, anyway?

It's "Spread Your Love" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Gotta love that garage rock sound. Not only is that song in two commercials, but they've had other songs used in movies and TV shows, including "Shuffle Your Feet" in the first episode (and a trailer) for the very underrated Generation Kill.

I'm sure there are lots of Black Rebel Motorcycle Club fans who are pissed that they "sold out" to Ketel One and Cosmopolitan, but how many more people heard them for the first time through these commercials? They were formed in 1998, so it took them 12 years to become an "overnight success." So hoist a glass of Ketel One and kiss your baby chick: Here's to you, BRMC!