With malice toward none

Well, we finally got around to seeing Lincoln.



I know it will win a buttload of Oscars, but... am I allowed to say I was a little bored? Was I not supposed to know that (spoiler alert!) Lincoln freed the slaves?

So if you're like me and you get bored with the actual story, you'll spend a lot of time trying to recognize all the famous actors playing people you sort of remember from American History II. Here's a chart.

Character	Actor	“Hey, that’s…”
Abraham Lincoln	Daniel Day-Lewis	…the guy who is in every movie set in 19th century America.
Mary Todd Lincoln	Sally Field	“You like me! Right now, you like me!”
William Seward	David Strathairn	…the guy from Good Night, and Good Luck, but let’s face it, you only know him from the Bourne movies.
Robert Lincoln	Joseph Gordon-Levitt	…the kid from Third Rock, but he’d much rather be thought of as the guy from Looper
W.N. Bilbo	James Spader	…the guy who really hopes he’s not remembered as Robert California from The Office.
Preston Blair	Hal Holbrook	…not the guy from Barney Miller. That’s Hal Linden.
Robert Latham	John Hawkes	…the Jewish guy from Deadwood.
Alexander Stephens	Jackie Earle Haley	…Kelly from Bad News Bears, Rorschach from Watchmen, or the creepy child molester from Little Children.
Edwin Stanton	Bruce McGill	…D-Day from Animal House.
George Pendleton	Peter McRobbie	…Judge Bradley on Law & Order.
Elizabeth Keckley	Gloria Reuben	…Jeanie from ER.
Clay Hawkins	Walton Goggins	…Shane from The Shield, Boyd from Justified.
Thaddeus Stevens	Tommy Lee Jones	…Tommy Lee Jones.

Lots of great actors. Lots of great acting. If you're into that kind of thing.

Personally, I preferred this Lincoln:

Separated at birth?

Is it just me or...





Doesn't Francisco Cervelli look an awful lot like Jake Gyllenhall?

Improvisation!

This is great, but...

Really, you don't include this?



Or especially... this?



Come on!

Wendy had it coming!

After watching this, I have re-evaluated The Shining.



I believe all these intros were from one of her Showtime series on fairy tales and legends (she did five of them apparently).

By the end of this, I was really rooting for Jack.

Bugsy Malone is... trendy?

I woke up this morning to discover that Bugsy Malone is trending on Twitter, 35 years after it was released! (Apparently it was on TV in England last night.)

It's probably a good thing that Bugsy Malone is never on TV in this country, because I'd wind up sucked into it every time. Scott Baio, Jodie Foster and guns that shoot cream pies? What's not to like!



For those really feeling nostalgic, you can find out what happened to everybody after they made "the world's most famous kids gangster movie".



If you just can't get enough, here's Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 and (sheesh) Part 5. That last one has the sad end of Dandy Dan (Martin Lev), who was one of my favorites.

Nicolas Cage... Uncaged!

Man, commercials for this movie are in heavy rotation.



Probably due to the presence of Ron Perlman in medieval garb, every time I see it I think of that Uwe Boll travesty, In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Adventure. But no, this is a different movie, directed by Dominic Sena (Gone in 60 Seconds, Swordfish).

OK, so it's not a Uwe Boll movie. And even though Sena got his start making music videos, it's not a full length version of the Donovan song.

So the only question remaining about this film is... do they uncage the Cage?

Let's face it, the only reason to watch a Nic Cage movie at this point is in the hope of seeing him lose his shit. It's what he does best.



I love this, but hey -- where's Moonstruck?

"I don't care! I ain't no freaking monument to justice! I lost my hand! I lost my bride! Johnny has his hand! Johnny has his bride!"