Monday, February 18, 2013

Walking Dead: Home

So, Walking Dead.

Eh. Again, lots of blah blah blah in the prison. Glenn is apparently the new boss, but I'm not quite sure who he is the boss of, since it doesn't appear that anyone is listening to him, or doing anything really. We see Glenn trying to figure out how to defend the prison with, I kid you not, Beth and Carl. That's the A-Team right now.

Andrea is off in Woodbury playing Vice Governor. Daryl is back to hunting squirrels with big brother Merle. Dale, Shane, and T-Dog are dead.

The only chance for replacements, Tyreese and his friends, are gone. There was a terrific scene as they grimly walked away with the prison behind them, Tyreese casting one last look over his shoulder... no, wait, that didn't happen, they just weren't in this episode. I guess they left after Rick freaked out last week... and who could blame them?

So who's left?
  • Rick, wandering around looking for Lori's ghost;
  • Michonne, standing outside glaring at weeds;
  • Hershel, who somehow got passed over as Vice Rick but seems to have settled into the consigliere role, though most of his advice seems to consist of saying, "are you sure you want to do that?" and then staring mournfully as that is indeed what they do;
  • Maggie, hiding in her bunk;
  • Carol, who is growing her hair out;
  • and Axel, who suddenly has lines this week. (Ut-oh...)
What I'm bitching about this week:
Where'd they go?... Where'd WHO go? Daryl and Merle are off in the woods playing redneck when they hear a baby crying. Which is kind of strange because the baby's crying during a zombie attack and the people are defending themselves by shooting guns. But again, they don't hear the gunshots... they hear the baby crying. All right. Daryl and Merle -- well, mostly Daryl -- helps kill off the zombies. Then, without so much as a vaya con dios, the two groups go their separate ways again. You know, if I lived in a post-apocalyptic zombie world and came across another group of survivors, I might want to ask a few questions, like... where did you come from? Where are you going? Why is your baby so freakishly loud? Nope.

What's on Daryl's back? Merle and Daryl have to argue about whether or not they should have robbed the other group, because you can't do anything on this show without getting into an argument about it. In the course of the argument Merle rips off Daryl's shirt to expose the big tattoos on his back. Actually, no, you weren't supposed to notice the huge tattoos, but rather the scars on his back, which Merle immediately recognizes as coming from getting beaten as a child, even though he'd apparently never seen them before. (I guess they didn't share a bedroom growing up?) I'm not sure what the tattoos are supposed to be -- they appear to be winged men of some sort. Angels? Demons? Hawkmen? I dunno.

The last 10 minutes... The first 50 minutes seemed like nothing was happening, but then those last 10 minutes -- woo! Guns! Swords! Zombies! The last 10 minutes were lots of fun. But also a little confusing. What exactly was the Governor's plan? You'd think if it was a full-out assault on the prison he'd bring more than a couple guys, but whatever... maybe this is just a scouting mission. Except it is a full-out assault! They even get a guy into one of the prison guard towers (how'd that happen?) and flank out Martinez to pin down the survivors. Victory! All they need to do is pick them off one by one and... er, well, not exactly. Because other than the guy who shot poor Axel, it appears that everyone on this show went to the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy. In fact, a couple times The Governor just stands there firing his assault rifle into the air with a big grin on his face. What exactly are they doing? Then the Governor hears a truck coming, and, oh boy, here it comes! It's not an attack... it's a diversion! The big ol' truck crashes through the gates and dumps out a load of zombies. The driver jumps out of the truck in body armor and a motorcycle helmet with a tinted face shield, firing a pistol and running to... I'm not sure, they never show her again. (Yes, I said her, because it looked like a woman's body and also, when people on TV shows wear motorcycle helmets with tinted face shields, they always turn out to be women.) Ah, so that's the real attack -- send in the zombies while you remain outside and pick them off one by one and... nope, that's not it either. They unload the zombies and leave. Let's call it a day, fellas!

So I guess the plan is use the zombies to wipe out Rick's group, but that doesn't seem like a brilliant plan either -- the Governor knows these same people killed probably 10 times that many zombies in order to take over the prison in the first place. Hell, Michonne killed a half-dozen in about three seconds before the Governor even left. Even if there are, what, 20 zombies wandering around the yard, it's not like that's an insurmountable problem.

But I'm sure they'll spend a lot of time talking about it.

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