Hell yes!
Showing posts with label would you watch this?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label would you watch this?. Show all posts
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Friday, June 10, 2011
Those Wacky Weiners
Huma Abedin -- aka Mrs. Anthony Weiner -- popped up on right-wing radars long before the Weinergate scandal. Wingnuts started claiming in 2007 that she was Hillary Clinton's Muslim lesbian lover. (I wonder what the bigger scandal would be in their eyes -- that Hillary is with a woman, or a Muslim?)
Presumably getting married to Anthony Weiner didn't prove that Abedin wasn't a lesbian. I guess then getting pregnant doesn't prove anything, either. Viewed through this warped prism, Weiner's sexting makes sense... he married a lesbian! He needed an outlet! No wonder he was sending pictures of his raging hard-on across the country!
So if Huma is a lesbian, why get married to a man? She's not running for office. Why not just stay a single woman and fuck whoever you want in the privacy of your own home, instead of complicating things with a sham marriage? You see, it's all an elaborate ruse -- not for Huma's benefit, but for Hillary's! Because Hillary has to prove she's a heterosexual, presumably to make it easier for her to run for president in 2016. After all, we all know that five years from now the hot topic on everyone's mind is going to be, "who does 68-year-old Hillary Clinton have sex with -- Bill or Huma?" I'm sure there are millions of homophobes out there who would vote for Hillary, if only they were sure she wasn't a closeted lesbian.
All Hillary needs to do is convince every woman ever suspected of being her girlfriend to get married and then immediately get pregnant. That will surely convince everyone that Hillary is straight, and the gay haters will finally be able to vote for her.
Um. OK.
The first odd thing about the Weiner-Abedin arrangement is the fact that he's a Jew and she's a Muslim. Now we add the fact that he's a horny sex fiend and she's a lesbian.
Can we get a sit com out of this?
He's a feisty New York Jew who loves women!
She's an uptight Muslim who also loves women!
And guess what... THEY'RE HAVING A BABY!
Special guest stars -- Bill and Hillary Clinton as the godparents!
Those Wacky Weiners, coming soon to a Fox affiliate near you!
Presumably getting married to Anthony Weiner didn't prove that Abedin wasn't a lesbian. I guess then getting pregnant doesn't prove anything, either. Viewed through this warped prism, Weiner's sexting makes sense... he married a lesbian! He needed an outlet! No wonder he was sending pictures of his raging hard-on across the country!
So if Huma is a lesbian, why get married to a man? She's not running for office. Why not just stay a single woman and fuck whoever you want in the privacy of your own home, instead of complicating things with a sham marriage? You see, it's all an elaborate ruse -- not for Huma's benefit, but for Hillary's! Because Hillary has to prove she's a heterosexual, presumably to make it easier for her to run for president in 2016. After all, we all know that five years from now the hot topic on everyone's mind is going to be, "who does 68-year-old Hillary Clinton have sex with -- Bill or Huma?" I'm sure there are millions of homophobes out there who would vote for Hillary, if only they were sure she wasn't a closeted lesbian.
All Hillary needs to do is convince every woman ever suspected of being her girlfriend to get married and then immediately get pregnant. That will surely convince everyone that Hillary is straight, and the gay haters will finally be able to vote for her.
Um. OK.
The first odd thing about the Weiner-Abedin arrangement is the fact that he's a Jew and she's a Muslim. Now we add the fact that he's a horny sex fiend and she's a lesbian.
Can we get a sit com out of this?
He's a feisty New York Jew who loves women!
She's an uptight Muslim who also loves women!
And guess what... THEY'RE HAVING A BABY!
Special guest stars -- Bill and Hillary Clinton as the godparents!
Those Wacky Weiners, coming soon to a Fox affiliate near you!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
How awesome is this?
I'm sure this took a tremendous amount of time... and you know what? It was well worth it.
Apparently this has become quite the meme. There's a Lord of the Rings version, an Inglourious Basterds version and a Dark Knight version. And of course, you can't have a meme without Hitler reacting to it.
Apparently this has become quite the meme. There's a Lord of the Rings version, an Inglourious Basterds version and a Dark Knight version. And of course, you can't have a meme without Hitler reacting to it.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Would You Watch This?
Jason Jones's Bayonne:
(The Bayonne part starts about 5 minutes in.)
As a Jersey guy, I would absolutely watch this. Fuhgeddaboutit!
Of course, most people who actually live in Bayonne weren't too happy about the segment. But trust me -- most people who actually live in Bayonne aren't too happy about anything.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Jason Jones' Bayonne | ||||
| ||||
(The Bayonne part starts about 5 minutes in.)
As a Jersey guy, I would absolutely watch this. Fuhgeddaboutit!
Of course, most people who actually live in Bayonne weren't too happy about the segment. But trust me -- most people who actually live in Bayonne aren't too happy about anything.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Would You Watch This?
Television, for the most part, sucks. I'm doing my best to unsuck it.
Title: Butch and Moan
Concept: Buddy cop show set in the 1970s
Starring: Tough-guy actor Michael Rooker and former porn star Katie Morgan
Shamus "Butch" McGillicuddy Jr. (Rooker) is a fifth-generation cop in Jersey City, N.J. In 1951, Butch disappears while tracking down a perp in the Garden State Fluorocarbon Factory. Twenty years later, as the factory is being closed by the recently-created U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, Butch is found somehow alive at the bottom of a vat of experimental chemicals. Woken from his 20-year coma, he's informed he still needs five more years on the job to get his pension. The detective returns to the force in the strange new world of 1971!
Things aren't any easier back home for Butch,
as his hot young wife from 1951 is now going through menopause (by law, this role must be played by Kim Cattrall) and remarried (since Butch was declared legally dead) to his straight-laced, by-the-book police chief (Mitch Pileggi). And the baby boy Butch hasn't seen in 20 years is now a pot-smoking, draft-dodging hippie (the all-grown-up kid from Jerry Maguire, Jonathan Lipnicki). With no where else to go, Butch has to live in the garage.
Butch needs help adjusting to the new rules of modern police work, like Miranda rights and integration, so he's partnered with the JCPD's hotshot up-and-coming detective: Monique Kasatkin (Morgan). Monique has some of the biggest busts -- ha ha, get it? -- in department history. But she's having a tough time breaking into the all-male world of police work circa 1971. It doesn't make things any easier that the other cops call Monique "Moan" because she looks just like stag film star Robin Swallows. It turns out she looks just like her because she indeed was Robin Swallows before being convinced to do something better with her life after a tearful reunion with her father, the tough, lovable and recently widowed Rabbi Mordecai Kasatkin (in a scene-stealing role by Dwight Schultz).
But Moan's
home life also is turned upside down when she not only has to share her one-bedroom apartment with her father, but also her ex-husband (and former pimp), Slick Truelove (Shavar Ross, aka Dudley from Diff'rent Strokes). Slick is a wanted fugitive but says he wants to turn his life around -- and if Moan doesn't hide him, he'll tell every cop in the precinct about her sordid past. Complicating matters, Slick gains an unlikely ally when he tells Rabbi Kasatkin he wants to study Torah and convert to Judaism!
With personal lives like these, the mean streets of Jersey City will be a piece of cake!
Title: Butch and Moan
Concept: Buddy cop show set in the 1970s
Starring: Tough-guy actor Michael Rooker and former porn star Katie Morgan
Shamus "Butch" McGillicuddy Jr. (Rooker) is a fifth-generation cop in Jersey City, N.J. In 1951, Butch disappears while tracking down a perp in the Garden State Fluorocarbon Factory. Twenty years later, as the factory is being closed by the recently-created U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, Butch is found somehow alive at the bottom of a vat of experimental chemicals. Woken from his 20-year coma, he's informed he still needs five more years on the job to get his pension. The detective returns to the force in the strange new world of 1971!
Things aren't any easier back home for Butch,
as his hot young wife from 1951 is now going through menopause (by law, this role must be played by Kim Cattrall) and remarried (since Butch was declared legally dead) to his straight-laced, by-the-book police chief (Mitch Pileggi). And the baby boy Butch hasn't seen in 20 years is now a pot-smoking, draft-dodging hippie (the all-grown-up kid from Jerry Maguire, Jonathan Lipnicki). With no where else to go, Butch has to live in the garage.
Butch needs help adjusting to the new rules of modern police work, like Miranda rights and integration, so he's partnered with the JCPD's hotshot up-and-coming detective: Monique Kasatkin (Morgan). Monique has some of the biggest busts -- ha ha, get it? -- in department history. But she's having a tough time breaking into the all-male world of police work circa 1971. It doesn't make things any easier that the other cops call Monique "Moan" because she looks just like stag film star Robin Swallows. It turns out she looks just like her because she indeed was Robin Swallows before being convinced to do something better with her life after a tearful reunion with her father, the tough, lovable and recently widowed Rabbi Mordecai Kasatkin (in a scene-stealing role by Dwight Schultz).
But Moan's
home life also is turned upside down when she not only has to share her one-bedroom apartment with her father, but also her ex-husband (and former pimp), Slick Truelove (Shavar Ross, aka Dudley from Diff'rent Strokes). Slick is a wanted fugitive but says he wants to turn his life around -- and if Moan doesn't hide him, he'll tell every cop in the precinct about her sordid past. Complicating matters, Slick gains an unlikely ally when he tells Rabbi Kasatkin he wants to study Torah and convert to Judaism!With personal lives like these, the mean streets of Jersey City will be a piece of cake!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)