tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61663408655466140732024-03-05T04:27:34.283-05:00Bitch Bitch ButchMy name is Butch and I like to bitch.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-88151779739820550192013-04-10T08:10:00.000-04:002013-04-10T08:10:32.270-04:00Jonesing for Walking Dead?If you've got withdrawal symptoms for The Walking Dead, maybe this short film will help:<br />
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It was a finalist in <a href="http://tropfest.com/au/">Tropfest Australia 2013</a>, "the world's largest short film festival." Great job!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-91333199056814039332013-04-04T10:04:00.003-04:002013-04-04T10:04:51.622-04:00Calvin & Hobbes... the movieWould you watch a dark, gritty reboot of Calvin & Hobbes?
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Hell yes!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-34305713626006199322013-04-01T21:51:00.002-04:002013-04-01T21:59:10.634-04:00The Walking Dead - Welcome to the Tombs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTCi13BV4xpAuh_dVe367MwIWoX1KTq2NpZ_wOqwFObPIZRriSvdE6CZfSfoOhfH5mDrqnHcqk7Tkv9Xlv5W23DE4dVbhzhr35WiMcl0g90Wg7-z6gk3DEsei-UeL4zUKPm9o5Mj7D8M4/s1600/the-walking-dead-s3-e16-welcome-to-the-tombs-_preview.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTCi13BV4xpAuh_dVe367MwIWoX1KTq2NpZ_wOqwFObPIZRriSvdE6CZfSfoOhfH5mDrqnHcqk7Tkv9Xlv5W23DE4dVbhzhr35WiMcl0g90Wg7-z6gk3DEsei-UeL4zUKPm9o5Mj7D8M4/s400/the-walking-dead-s3-e16-welcome-to-the-tombs-_preview.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
So, Season 3 is in the books.<br />
<br />
After all this build-up I really wanted a satisfying end (particularly <a href="http://bitchbitchbutch.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-walking-dead-prey.html">Zombie Milton eating The Governor</a>), but instead got an ending similar to Star Wars as The Gov goes spinning off in his TIE fighter to who knows where, with his last two surviving goons (Martinez and Bowman) along for the ride. (Why the hell would they get into the truck after all that, or not shoot him at the first opportunity?)
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<br />
The whole fight was kind of a let-down, actually. They'd been stringing us along all season with skirmishes and negotiating ploys, but I kept thinking -- it'll all pay off with that last episode. The battle started out well -- I liked the tension of searching the prison while not being sure if Rick's crew was there or not (I was thinking they'd run off to Woodbury for a showdown with Tyreese, which didn't happen until later), and then... ambush!
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Usually when someone takes his helmet off after an ambush and says something like, "We won! They're retreating!", he gets shot in the head. But this time, they really were retreating. The show had laid the groundwork -- while Rick and company were roughing it in the woods, learning how to fight like a team, the Woodburians were watching gladiator fights and picking off walkers from behind their huge walls. When the actual shit started going down, it made sense that they panicked and fled. But still, it was over way too quickly for me -- after all this build-up I needed more action. It didn't even look like any of them got killed! I can't blame the Governor for being annoyed and shooting the cowards after that despicable showing.
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<br />
Also... I know I'm not alone in thinking Carl did the right thing in shooting the "boy" in the woods. Look, we all know this trick from movies -- when someone says "drop your gun!" and you step closer as if you're going to hand it over instead of dropping it, it's a trick.<br />
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Way to go, Carl! Besides, did we really want Season 4 to have another <a href="http://walkingdead.wikia.com/wiki/Randall_(TV_Series)">Randall</a>?<br />
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So we lose Andrea, who, let's face it, was probably irredeemable after this season. She doesn't even get the benefit of a <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RedemptionEqualsDeath">redemptive death</a>, though she does get a chance to explain why she was being so annoying, naive, and two-faced. "I just wanted everyone to live" -- yeah, good luck with that, on a show called The Walking Dead.
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<br />
Adios, Andrea. I still love you in the comics.
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<br />
And the ending... all the people from Woodbury who couldn't go on the raid, basically little kids and old people, are taken in by Team Prison. I guess this is supposed to show how Rick -- who has turned down every wanderer he's come across this season -- is becoming a nice guy again. OK. But instead of taking in the Woodbury huddled masses, why not simply take over Woodbury? I guess you could argue the prison is more defensible, although the gates keep getting knocked down, and there's a whole wall down where Tyreese came in. Woodbury has those nice big walls. On the other hand, it took a fairly large number of people to patrol those walls, and most of those people are dead now. Ah well.
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<br />
Overall, I thought it was a good season -- the first half was very good, but it got bogged down in the second half except for <a href="http://bitchbitchbutch.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-walking-dead-clear.html">Clear</a>. The second half felt like they were padding -- we have to get to 16 episodes, what else can we do? -- and that led to a lot of frustrating dead ends. I don't have a problem with dead ends, but I do have a problem when we KNOW they are dead ends. We knew the negotiations weren't going to go anywhere. We knew Andrea wasn't going to kill the governor. We knew Rick wasn't going to fall in love all over again with Ghost Lori.
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<br />
I know it's a problem if you have a 16-episode run and only 12 episodes worth of stories to tell. It's such a heavily serialized show that you feel every week you have to advance the ball. If I was on Scott Gimple's writing team (have your people call my people), I'd suggest avoiding so many dead ends by working in more stand-alone episodes like "Clear". Wouldn't it have been cool to have an episode that was maybe 10 or 15 minutes of life in the prison, and the rest about <a href="http://walkingdead.wikia.com/wiki/Unnamed_Hitchhiker">the hitchhiker</a>, or the <a href="http://walkingdead.wikia.com/wiki/Unnamed_Mexican_Man">Spanish-speaking family</a>, or whoever? And then an episode or two later they pop up again, and you think they'll become part of the story... but no, they're just passing through. Or maybe have some people who don't even pop up again. There's endless potential. Explore the world of Walking Dead, instead of just this one group in the prison. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-1081512759869627682013-03-25T13:56:00.001-04:002013-03-25T13:56:10.267-04:00The Walking Dead: This Sorrowful Life<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6hxbAf-HU6ig8y9in7JidEQA1pzUdnrd5p382upwK_VQaQXP8Sx5NGOXWnncZ0GvHSzlAs07kNhyphenhypheng7mckZjOmxJhyphenhyphenH4x1qDyBD50oS5qWPGJC1Ca6qyCJRWNr8nNd1D_C3CdbjRxxuyM/s1600/merlefaceresignacin.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6hxbAf-HU6ig8y9in7JidEQA1pzUdnrd5p382upwK_VQaQXP8Sx5NGOXWnncZ0GvHSzlAs07kNhyphenhypheng7mckZjOmxJhyphenhyphenH4x1qDyBD50oS5qWPGJC1Ca6qyCJRWNr8nNd1D_C3CdbjRxxuyM/s1600/merlefaceresignacin.jpeg" height="222" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://bitchbitchbutch.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-walking-dead-clear.html">A couple weeks ago</a> I wrote about how I was optimistic about next season because the writer of "Clear" -- the best episode since the pilot -- was going to be taking over as the showrunner. Alas, Scott Gimple also wrote this episode, which was yet another example of the uneven writing that has plagued this series since the beginning.<br />
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The problem is we all knew that Rick was not going to turn Michonne over to the Governor. It's been a long time since Rick was paralyzed with indecision over what would be the just thing to do with Randall, the young prisoner they had on the Farm. Remember those days? Rick refused to leave Randall stuck on the spiked fence. Then he refused to abandon him in the overrun factory yard. Then he refused to execute him. And yet all this time he also refused to consider allowing him to join the group.<br />
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I get that Rick is a much harder man now. He wouldn't stop for the hitchhiker (twice) -- only pausing long enough to pick up his backpack after he gets eaten. He's also the guy who won't allow Tyreese and his crew to stay in the prison.<br />
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So he's not going to help strangers. I get that. But is he now the type of person who is going to hand over a member of the group, albeit a relatively new one, who he knows is going to be tortured, maimed, and killed?<br />
<br />
Hey, if they were seriously going to take this show in that direction -- if they were going to make Rick a cold and cruel pragmatist with no thought about sacrificing others to protect himself -- then fine, let's go that way.<br />
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But no, of course not. It's just another excuse to navel gaze for 20 minutes as Rick ponders what to do. If this was written better, or maybe acted better, maybe it would be compelling drama, watching Rick agonize with his decision. Instead, it's just dull as we watch Rick inevitably come to the decision we knew he'd make all along.<br />
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But oh! There's a twist. Because while Rick is hemming and hawing, someone else comes along and makes the decision for him. Wait, that's not a twist? That's right -- they've done it before, with Shane. Shane was the one in Season 2 who ultimately decides what to do with Randall. (He's also the one who decides to take out the walkers in Hershel's barn.) They've also done it in Season 3, with The Governor taking aggressive actions against the Prison while Rick mopes.<br />
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Rick is the Hamlet of Walking Dead, thinking, plotting, agonizing, while others run around actually doing stuff.<br />
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I'll give him the line of the night: "I'm not your governor." But it was amusing how he delivers a big speech about how it's no longer a Ricktatorship and they will have to decide together what to do... then he walks away without listening to what they had to say!<br />
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I also don't quite get Merle's logic -- OK, not that he has any -- in carrying out Rick's wishes by delivering Michonne, when Merle is the one who has been saying all along that it won't make any difference to The Gov, who intends on wiping them all out no matter what they do.<br />
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But once we finally get away from the prison, it's not a bad episode. Michonne was cool, maybe a little too cool, going along with Merle and really not making any effort at all to escape. Nice line though, about how she's not going to leave until she has her sword back. I loved Merle pretending to give the zombie a drink of whisky and then cackling. And bringing all those walkers into the compound and then ambushing the Governor's ambush was pretty cool.<br />
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It was very symbolic that Glenn rips off two fingers to get a wedding ring from a zombie, and then later, The Gov bites off two of Merle's fingers. It was symbolic of... uh... fingers, I guess? I dunno.<br />
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Daryl killing Walker Merle was the second time someone has had to put down a sibling... Andrea killed her zombiefid sister Amy way back in Season 1. I'm guessing they had Walker Merle moving slowly not because he recognized Daryl, but because they just wanted to linger on the scene. I don't think there was supposed to be any "recognition" of Daryl or anything like that.<br />
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So pour out a shot of Wild Turkey for ol' Merle and let's bring on the season finale next week!<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-4913582784962248482013-03-18T15:15:00.003-04:002013-03-18T15:15:49.204-04:00The Walking Dead: Prey<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUpYN_3KRxNRQlx6K3EWSph8BsuH_G54ASf5BbiDBkdKQ4BqZiIujllBD-bdHv3Iaik5ih322uy9dBoqtLc1CL8eckzlHha4qwTnlho_1ScoCFWORcIu9IbI6q-vOBMOammZVO20SM7SA/s1600/TWD_GP_314_1109_0020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUpYN_3KRxNRQlx6K3EWSph8BsuH_G54ASf5BbiDBkdKQ4BqZiIujllBD-bdHv3Iaik5ih322uy9dBoqtLc1CL8eckzlHha4qwTnlho_1ScoCFWORcIu9IbI6q-vOBMOammZVO20SM7SA/s400/TWD_GP_314_1109_0020.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I didn't hate this episode as much as <a href="http://www.chicagonow.com/hammervision/2013/03/the-walking-dead-recap-prey/" target="new">some</a> <a href="http://www.tv.com/news/the-walking-dead-prey-review-chasing-andrea-136328490448/" target="new">people</a> <a href="http://multiversitycomics.com/reviews/five-thoughts-on-the-walking-deads-prey/" target="new">did</a>, but it did have some glaring flaws.<br />
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I especially like the one-eyed governor spotting Andrea in a field as he whizzes by. He's got good peripheral vision out of that patch. I think he should probably keep his one eye on the road while he's driving, don't you? <br />
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The flashback between Michonne and Andrea had the potential to be interesting, but it was just the same ol' same ol'... people asking Michonne direct questions and her just glaring instead of answering. <br />
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The extended cat-and-mouse scene in the old building -- what I presume was a factory that made improvised weapons for serial killers in slasher movies -- went on far too long, but had a nice payoff of Andrea unleashing the zombie staircase horde on the Governor. (What do you think those people were doing before they turned -- fire drill? Smoke break in the stairwell?) When she walked out, leaving the Governor to swing his Vorpal Shovel at the zombies, why didn't she just take his car? If he didn't leave the keys, at least slash the tires. Sheesh.<br />
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And what about Milton? He says he knew Phillip before he became the Governor. Does that he mean he knew him pre-Apocalypse, or just pre-Woodbury? Maybe they're brothers? He obviously wants Andrea to stop him, but then doesn't let her shoot him. And it goes both ways -- the Governor obviously thinks Milton burned up the walkers. but doesn't do anything about it. Hmm. <br />
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I'll go ahead and predict that Milton becomes zombie'fied and then eats the Governor. So many people "deserve" the chance to kill him -- Rick, Michonne, Glenn, Maggie, Merle, and of course Andrea -- that I think they'll go another way and give it to Milton. And it's almost inevitable that the bad guy who sees the light gets to <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RedemptionEqualsDeath" target="new">die a redemptive death</a>. Anyway, that's my prediction. <br />
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Line of the night goes to Rick:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"..."</blockquote>
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As he's looking across the field with his binoculars and thinks he sees something, but... is that Andrea? The ghost of Lori? A zombie? Ah, fuck it. Note to Team Prison: The guy who is seeing hallucinations probably isn't a good choice for a look-out. <br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-71361079498783963432013-03-16T11:28:00.001-04:002013-03-16T11:37:02.884-04:00Thoughts on Brennan Boesch<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHGxnnj8tfPn5lWPGDoqcFJcVonalU7riPwFLaG4ZkQsKa-69dUFZsvquLYRZZpbl7UnA-_NbXrIh39sXOmh-95UaqkCH0j5t5MscO1auOpMH2xYAnoa2up7Wn6LaQ1nVRZqpXpstyqh4/s1600/bb2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="218" psa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHGxnnj8tfPn5lWPGDoqcFJcVonalU7riPwFLaG4ZkQsKa-69dUFZsvquLYRZZpbl7UnA-_NbXrIh39sXOmh-95UaqkCH0j5t5MscO1auOpMH2xYAnoa2up7Wn6LaQ1nVRZqpXpstyqh4/s320/bb2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
I know this move is getting mocked in some circles -- O how the mighty have fallen! The Yankees are picking up other team's rejects. The Yankees are scraping the bottom of the barrel. <br />
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Whatever. Signing Boesch is a good gamble -- low risk, medium reward.<br />
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Boesch is still relatively young (he turns 28 on April 12) and at $1.5 million, relatively cheap. More importantly, he's finally the left-handed power bat the Yankees have needed as a stop-gap until Curtis Granderson and Mark Teixeira come off the D.L. in May. (Supposedly... I know Granderson will be back, but I think Teixeira's time table might be optimistic.) With so many right-handed outfielders in camp -- Juan Rivera, Matt Diaz, Melky Mesa, Ronnier Mustelier, Thomas Neal, Ben Francisco -- they desperately needed a lefty. With so many singles hitters in the lineup -- Ichiro Suzuki, Brett Gardner, Derek Jeter, and whoever is playing catcher -- they needed a power bat.<br />
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Boesch has had a strange career. He came up in April 2010, and after a 6-for-23 start, he flat-out raked -- .345/.378/.595 in May, .337/.400/.625 OPS in June. Then he completely fell apart -- .564 OPS in July, .531 OPS in August, .489 OPS in September. The obvious story is that pitchers adjusted to him, and he didn't adjust back. Or maybe it was his ridiculous .390 BAbip in May and June, which faded to .253 in July, .231 in August and .224 in September.<br />
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In 2011, he had one incredible month (.380/.437/.620 in June), again thanks to an unsustainable .422 BAbip. He had a good April (.319/.390/.451, .359 BAbip) and a mediocre July (.267/.305/.478, .279 BAbip), but was awful in May (.551 OPS) and August (.621 OPS), then missed all of September with a thumb injury.<br />
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Last year was a complete disaster, hitting .240/.286/.372. He had just one good month, July (.295/.329/.538, .328 BAbip), but the rest of the year he was putrid -- take out July and his numbers fall all the way to .230/.278/.339. His troubles were mostly due to his completely losing the strike zone, seeing his walk rate drop from a league-average 8% in '10 and '11 to an unacceptable 5% in 2012; he also saw his BB:K ratio fall from a mediocre .41 in '10-'11 to an awful .25 (26 BB, 104 K) last year. But Ks come with being a power hitter. The real problem is Boesch, when he struggles, hits a ton of ground outs. Last year, half of Boesch's balls in play were on the ground, with just 16 percent line drives and 34 percent in the air. That's unacceptable for a power hitter, and hopefully something Kevin Long can straighten out. <br />
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So, Boesch is the proverbial <a href="http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/173916">girl with the curl</a>. When he was good, he was very good, but when he was bad he was horrid. The good Boesch -- the guy from those two months in '10, three months in '11, and one month in '12 -- is a Hall of Famer (.326/.378/.555 in 555 AB). The bad Boesch -- the rest of his career -- should be working at Sears (.213/.272/.317 in 807 AB).<br />
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Which Boesch is he? His minor league track record says we shouldn't bet on Cooperstown. Detroit's 3rd round pick out of UC-Berkeley in 2006, Boesch hit .291/.344/.435 as a 21-year-old in low A, but the next year slumped to .267/.297/.378 in A-ball. In '08 he moved up half a level to the Florida State League, and struggled again, hitting .249/.310/.379. The Tigers promoted him to Double-A in '09 anyway, and he showed a little life, hitting .275/.318/.510. They moved him up to Triple-A the next year and he went nuts, hitting .379/.455/.621 in 15 games, punching his ticket to the show, and he stayed on fire for the next two months. Outside of those hot three weeks in Triple-A, there's no sign he's a diamond in the rough.<br />
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But still... when Boesch is hot, he's really hot. We only need him for two months. Why not roll the dice? If he can be the good Boesch for those eight weeks, we've got an unbelievable bargain. If he's the bad Boesch for those eight weeks, well, we'll all be overjoyed to see Granderson again.<br />
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One more thing. Boesch's career numbers at Yankee Stadium, while in just 32 plate appearances, are encouraging: .367/.375/.533. Sure, it's a small sample size, but it's something. I just wish his career numbers against the Red Sox weren't so embarrassing (.181/.198/.301).<br />
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By the way... one of Boesch's pluses is that he is left-handed, so he can face righties while Rivera, Diaz, Francisco or whichever right-handed outfielder makes the team can hammer lefties. But wait a minute -- Boesch's career numbers vs righties (.250/.305/.412) are actually worse than his career numbers vs lefties (.286/.348/.420). Is he a reverse platoon player?<br />
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It looks like a fluke to me. Boesch's numbers vs lefties came in just 336 ABs, and are inflated by his ridiculous .337/.403/.548 in 104 ABs against them in 2010. Boesch put up a .421 BAbip against lefties that year. The next year, his numbers against lefties fell to .302/.356/.396 in 106 AB -- again, with an unsustainable .365 BAbip. Last year, they fell again to .230/.292/.333 in 126 AB, still with a lucky .314 BAbip. Overall, Boesch's career BAbip against lefties is an unrealistic .364, while it's a normal .278 against righties. In short, his numbers against lefties are a mirage. Play him against righties and hope for the best.<br />
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Finally... what will be his John Sterling home run call? I predict <strong>"It's a bash from Boesch!"</strong>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-63719989483469003122013-03-11T11:33:00.002-04:002013-03-11T11:33:15.759-04:00The Walking Dead: Arrow on the Doorpost<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
After last week's great episode, The Walking Dead returned to another blah-blah-blah fest. Lots of people talking but not actually doing anything. <br />
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I don't get The Governor's whole negotiating strategy -- or why Rick bothered to sit down to negotiate with him at all. People on this show seem to have a lot of short-term memory problems. Like when The Governor brings up that "we could have killed you all" when they attacked the prison a few weeks ago. Rick could have pointed out that a) the half-assed attack resulted in one dead on either side, and was at best a draw; and b) when Rick and Co. launched their attack on Woodbury, it resulted in several Woodburians getting killed (and alas, poor Oscar), including The Governor's own zombie daughter. Not to mention his eye.<br />
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You'd think Rick would bring this up, but no, he just likes to glare. I would have loved it if instead he had just <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5x5ryKTuF8&t=24">pulled a Malcolm Reynolds and shot The Governor as soon as he hung up his gun.</a><br />
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Andrea continues to be the most annoying person on the show, but everyone else isn't helping. You'd think when she explicitly asks what The Governor did to Maggie, Hershel might tell her. But no, let's just let it lie. Because otherwise it would make it too painfully obvious that Andrea is backing the wrong team, and we have to leave her "conflicted" for another few episodes... even if we all know no sane person would be conflicted in her position.<br />
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Line of the week goes to Glenn, who can't get it on with Maggie while the walkers are watching. So romantic! Also, props for having people on guard duty fuck around, literally, and nothing bad comes of it... so far. Probably the first time in television history that <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThrowingTheDistraction" target="new">a distracted guard</a> didn't result in an immediate attack.<br />
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Dumb line of the night goes to Milton, who says he wants to see Hershel's stump because it's important to know how high above the bite the leg was amputated. Um... how are you supposed to figure out where the bite was by looking at his stump? Do you think he carries around the amputated leg in his pocket? I thought Milton was the smart one.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-19063433699427480902013-03-04T21:35:00.002-05:002013-03-04T21:35:31.669-05:00The Walking Dead: Clear<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY7lBEPZzIHKG-ZTAHuYfE-ahrpeKtmfL9_u5mk79ta3K4Hs2UUeuIhqa5KS4MsiJn9lLk_FH-lc4IhV2UiiDvPR2sY3DWYx8cDzWHVAs5PSnqfztm62mPVmHHWRXgSLwVI7boKoJ2OtA/s1600/0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" jsa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY7lBEPZzIHKG-ZTAHuYfE-ahrpeKtmfL9_u5mk79ta3K4Hs2UUeuIhqa5KS4MsiJn9lLk_FH-lc4IhV2UiiDvPR2sY3DWYx8cDzWHVAs5PSnqfztm62mPVmHHWRXgSLwVI7boKoJ2OtA/s400/0.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
The best episode since the pilot is, I hope, a preview of what next season will be like. The writer of this week's episode, Scott M. Gimple, is taking over as showrunner next season.<br />
<br />
I know... who the hell is Scott M. Gimple? His middle name is Milhouse. He's from New Jersey. He's written five episodes, including "Save the Last One" (where Shane shoots Otis) and "Pretty Much Dead Already" (where they kill all the walkers in the barn, and find Sophia). Those are two really good episodes, and along with this one, I'm really encouraged about next season. <br />
<br />
If you hate Gimple's writing, well... just give it a little while. Walking Dead showrunners have about as long a lifespan as hitchhikers on this show.<br />
<br />
I felt bad for the hitchhiker, and of course we all would like to think that of course we'd stop for the poor guy. There's an empty seat in the back, after all. But if there's one thing Rick has learned, it's not to be nice to strangers. As I pointed out last week, if you're a latecomer to Rick's crew, you're better off finding the Governor. Rick isn't going to let you join.<br />
<br />
But if you think about it, how many times has Rick survived because strangers took <em>him</em> in? Morgan... Jenner... Hershel. What ever happened to "pay it forward"?<br />
<br />
The highlight of the episode was Lennie James as Morgan. The guy is just electrifying on screen. You really felt his horror and anguish as a man damned to live in Hell on Earth. Of course I wanted Rick to bring Morgan back to the prison, even though that means (given the show's strict "one black man at a time" policy) that Tyreese would be permanently on Team Woodbury. But you knew Morgan wasn't going to go. He survives while everyone he cares about dies around him, not because he's brave but because he's weak.<br />
<br />
Does anyone else feel the last three seasons would have been awesome if it was about Morgan and Duane? Season 1 ends with Morgan, realizing he and Duane are in over their hands, finally turning on the walkie-talkie. Season 2 ends with Duane getting eaten by his mother. And Season 3 ends with Rick's return. <br />
<br />
Not in this universe. <br />
<br />
In the real Walking Dead, Michonne finally emerges as they give her something to do other than glower. She even gets the line of the night:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<strong>Rick:</strong> We're eating his food now?<br /><strong>Michonne:</strong> The mat said welcome...</blockquote>
When Carl gets annoyed and stomps off by himself, she does the smart thing and follows him at a distance -- letting him know she's there but not crowding him for space. Close enough to keep an eye on him but not so close that he runs away. Wow, she's already a better mom than Lori "Where's Carl?!" Grimes. <br />
<br />
There were a few stupid moments in this episode, though. I get that Michonne is a bad-ass, but now she can teleport? She bamfs up to the roof to go after Morgan, and then bamfs into the restaurant to get the picture (and the weird cat sculpture). Pretty impressive.<br />
<br />
I also liked when Carl is told to stay outside the restaurant, so he stands with his back to the doors (with windows) as a horde of zombies inside pounds away. That sounds like a smart idea. <br />
<br />
But this was by far the best since the pilot. I'm looking forward to more of Gimple's work. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-32649069278069516592013-02-25T14:11:00.003-05:002013-02-25T14:11:43.955-05:00The Walking Dead: I Ain't No Judas<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIBy0ayHtlyzI7R5ZrGRc9NW5gUyafRFyZ3SFNDUAQpYqXYdhO6BgRJVzfmuKFUz0uw-XcTEZuAtf9YvB7fsrnt6W5pA27wXv2I4D3k9wLVN-jtSEcFy_qOZ0Jwa1Ga861h0KasFF4e4Q/s1600/walking-dead-michael-rooker-merle-i-aint-judas-season-3-amc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIBy0ayHtlyzI7R5ZrGRc9NW5gUyafRFyZ3SFNDUAQpYqXYdhO6BgRJVzfmuKFUz0uw-XcTEZuAtf9YvB7fsrnt6W5pA27wXv2I4D3k9wLVN-jtSEcFy_qOZ0Jwa1Ga861h0KasFF4e4Q/s400/walking-dead-michael-rooker-merle-i-aint-judas-season-3-amc.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
I don't have much to say about this episode, another one where it felt like the writers were stalling for time. <br />
<br />
What happened to last week's big finale of dumping walkers into the prison? I didn't think a yard full of zombie was as big a problem as they were making it out to be last week, but I thought it would be at least a little bit of a problem. Rick, Daryl, and Merle getting back into the prison wouldn't be much of a challenge... but why not show it?<br />
<br />
I actually think leaving the yard full of walkers is a good idea -- use the walkers as a defense. If nothing else, the Woodbury people (Woodburians?) will have to shoot at the zombies first.<br />
<br />
We did get some nice scenes of Andrea and Milton -- aka Smithers (thanks Scott Adsit) making a pet zombie. But other than that, and Tyreese and crew making their way to Woodbury, nothing happened in this episode. Andrea is completely clueless and just runs around lecturing people. Michonne actually had some speaking lines for once, but came off as whiny and petty. <br />
<br />
Merle had the line of the night, when he told Michonne he was "just following orders" when he tried to kill her.<br />
<blockquote>
Michonne: "Like the Gestapo?"<br />
Merle: (brightly) "Yeah!"</blockquote>
Let's look at the big picture. The Woodburians are gearing up for war. They have more people. They have lots of powerful guns, thanks to killing those soldiers (and Rick's <a href="http://walkingdead.wikia.com/wiki/Bag_of_Guns" target="new">bag o' guns</a>, which he took from Andrea). They have a strong, ruthless, and wacky leader. They have a competent #2 in Martinez, although he didn't exactly impress us with his marksmanship last week, and he seems like a bit of a hothead.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, Rick's merry band is confused, disorganized, and disheartened. They have much fewer people and they're low on ammunition. On the plus side, they're a lot more competent when it comes to killing -- quality, not quantity. Rick, Daryl, Merle, and Michonne are the best fighters on the field. (And when Hershel proved to be a crack shot when he finally picked up a gun during the last stand on the farm.) They also have a fortified position, but as Merle pointed out, the Governor could simply surround the prison and starve them out.<br />
<br />
Then we have the wildcards of Andrea and Tyreese. What will they do in an all-out war against the prison? Will they side with the Governor, or with Rick?<br />
<br />
Andrea is a mystery. The writers clearly don't know what to do with her. We've seen too much of The Governor's evil side -- and she has, too -- to simply write it off as her not knowing he's a monster.<br />
<br />
I can understand her desire to broker a truce between the two sides. But if she's convinced The Governor is evil, why return to Woodbury? If she's not convinced, then why hover over him with a knife? I just don't get how we're supposed to read her.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, Rick's decision to freak out and boot Tyreese and his people went from being a dumb decision to a catastrophe when they showed up at Woodbury. The Governor knows not to kick people out when you're gearing up for war... especially people who have inside information about your opponent. <br />
<br />
Which makes me think -- who would you rather follow, Rick or The Governor? They're both crazy now, so put that aside. <br />
<br />
Yeah, The Governor is a ruthless prick who wouldn't think twice about feeding you to the zombies... but Rick has done the same thing, either directly (Andrew) or indirectly (Tyreese's group). Let's face it, if you weren't around in Season 2, Rick isn't going to be your buddy. Judging from the Tyreese experience, if you were wandering the post-apocalyptic world, you'd be better off coming across The Governor instead of Rick.<br />
<br />
But neither one is a great choice. I wonder if that Hispanic family would let me sit in the back.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-19153813281334525512013-02-24T21:34:00.000-05:002013-02-24T21:34:13.109-05:00Bring back Alfonso Soriano?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-M96Q-jws7fnUhZviu8p0j4Tqsp9ossKMqDGLikoKmYi9ZTeVYz2fEkNOZkAhbzOX1rYaQeA3FX3IoOKAHjlQ9JPW-QVGg3ZhhT3FUncSGJaz1hEd9huHcDKXBqLgHGG3qlDhUsbrUFo/s1600/soriano-qj7vsmb1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img align="right" border="0" height="268" mea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-M96Q-jws7fnUhZviu8p0j4Tqsp9ossKMqDGLikoKmYi9ZTeVYz2fEkNOZkAhbzOX1rYaQeA3FX3IoOKAHjlQ9JPW-QVGg3ZhhT3FUncSGJaz1hEd9huHcDKXBqLgHGG3qlDhUsbrUFo/s320/soriano-qj7vsmb1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Within minutes of getting the X-rays back, the buzz started that the Yankees would trade for Alfonso Soriano to be their new starting left fielder.<br />
<br />
No, they will not.<br />
<br />
Alfonso Soriano is making $18 million in 2013... and $18 million in 2014. Plus a $1 million bonus for each year.<br />
<br />
If the Yankees were willing to pick up $38 million in salary, don't you think they could do better than Alfonso Soriano?<br />
<br />
Soriano has a no-trade clause. Presumably he'd want some kind of compensation (as if $38 million isn't enough) for waiving it. After all, once Granderson gets back -- in just 10 weeks, remember -- Soriano will be reduced to a platoon role.<br />
<br />
Speaking of which, Soriano is a right-handed hitter... which is all the Yankees have when it comes to in-house replacements: veterans Juan Rivera and Matt Diaz, already in camp; Melky Mesa and Zoilo Almonte, up-and-coming prospects; and Thomas Neal and Ronnier Mustelier, a couple of wildcards. All six are right-handed outfielders. They don't need another one. <br />
<br />
Where do these rumors come from?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-36165459562286609982013-02-18T17:24:00.000-05:002013-02-18T17:34:11.455-05:00Walking Dead: HomeSo, Walking Dead.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoIds2HXhZhw3h-Bl_JIA_s5xPZ_bKby-RREMMwX3v8YQM2_FytTPfolczvWEaU0GUlgufG3f41s4LMfpDNkTN7WPGSH7-EX3Vi0-EL5lveuiXGUm1NskFjwgnvXZ7uMJY-3FSJdRxw8w/s1600/the-walking-dead-home_article_story_main.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoIds2HXhZhw3h-Bl_JIA_s5xPZ_bKby-RREMMwX3v8YQM2_FytTPfolczvWEaU0GUlgufG3f41s4LMfpDNkTN7WPGSH7-EX3Vi0-EL5lveuiXGUm1NskFjwgnvXZ7uMJY-3FSJdRxw8w/s320/the-walking-dead-home_article_story_main.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Eh. Again, lots of blah blah blah in the
prison. Glenn is apparently the new boss, but I'm not quite sure who he
is the boss of, since it doesn't appear that anyone is listening to him,
or doing anything really. We see Glenn trying to figure out how to
defend the prison with, I kid you not, Beth and Carl. That's the A-Team
right now. <br />
<br />
Andrea is off in Woodbury playing Vice Governor.
Daryl is back to hunting squirrels with big brother Merle. Dale, Shane, and T-Dog are dead.<br />
<br />
The only chance for replacements, Tyreese and
his friends, are gone. There was a terrific scene as they grimly walked
away with the prison behind them, Tyreese casting one last look over his
shoulder... no, wait, that didn't happen, they just weren't in this episode. I guess they left after Rick freaked out last week... and who could blame them?<br />
<br />
So who's left?<br />
<ul>
<li>Rick, wandering around looking for Lori's ghost; </li>
<li>Michonne, standing outside glaring at weeds;</li>
<li>Hershel,
who somehow got passed over as Vice Rick but seems to have settled into
the consigliere role, though most of his advice seems to consist of
saying, "are you sure you want to do that?" and then staring mournfully
as that is indeed what they do;</li>
<li>Maggie, hiding in her bunk;</li>
<li>Carol, who is growing her hair out;</li>
<li>and Axel, who suddenly has lines this week. (Ut-oh...)</li>
</ul>
What I'm bitching about this week:<br />
<b>Where'd
they go?... Where'd WHO go? </b>Daryl and Merle are off in the woods
playing redneck when they hear a baby crying. Which is kind of strange
because the baby's crying during a zombie attack and the people are
defending themselves by shooting guns. But again, they don't hear the
gunshots... they hear the baby crying. All right. Daryl and Merle --
well, mostly Daryl -- helps kill off the zombies. Then, without so much
as a vaya con dios, the two groups go their separate ways again. You
know, if I lived in a post-apocalyptic zombie world and came across
another group of survivors, I might want to ask a few questions, like...
where did you come from? Where are you going? Why is your baby so
freakishly loud? Nope. <br />
<br />
<b>What's on Daryl's back? </b>Merle and Daryl
have to argue about whether or not they should have robbed the other
group, because you can't do anything on this show without getting into
an argument about it. In the course of the argument Merle rips off
Daryl's shirt to expose the big tattoos on his back. Actually, no, you
weren't supposed to notice the huge tattoos, but rather the scars on his
back, which Merle immediately recognizes as coming from getting beaten
as a child, even though he'd apparently never seen them before. (I guess
they didn't share a bedroom growing up?) I'm not sure what the tattoos
are supposed to be -- they appear to be winged men of some sort. Angels?
Demons? <a href="http://flashgordon.wikia.com/wiki/The_Hawkmen">Hawkmen</a>?
I dunno.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4vLedIP7borkS8RM8ijGT9RuktmRxxPP9zew84d8b5VuPWMNgnECJD2H6Rf2M2arXlCTmsLoprqD12f1WQ7XhZsQwJe2IO78_6uOO9m6NITuD7TNVPGZZJjXasMJVgp9SbL2WaoVMMkI/s1600/daryl-dixon-tattoos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4vLedIP7borkS8RM8ijGT9RuktmRxxPP9zew84d8b5VuPWMNgnECJD2H6Rf2M2arXlCTmsLoprqD12f1WQ7XhZsQwJe2IO78_6uOO9m6NITuD7TNVPGZZJjXasMJVgp9SbL2WaoVMMkI/s320/daryl-dixon-tattoos.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<b>The last 10 minutes... </b>The first 50 minutes seemed
like nothing was happening, but then those last 10 minutes -- woo! Guns!
Swords! Zombies! The last 10 minutes were lots of fun. But also a
little confusing. What exactly was the Governor's plan? You'd think if it was a
full-out assault on the prison he'd bring more than a couple guys, but
whatever... maybe this is just a scouting mission. Except it <i>is </i>a full-out assault! They even get a guy into one of the prison guard
towers (how'd that happen?) and flank out Martinez to pin down the survivors. Victory! All they need to do is pick them off one by one and... er, well, not exactly. Because other than the guy who shot poor
Axel, it appears that everyone on this show went to the <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy">Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy</a>. In fact, a couple times
The Governor just stands there firing his assault rifle into the air
with a big grin on his face. What exactly are they doing? Then the Governor hears a truck coming, and, oh boy, here it comes! It's not an attack... <i>it's a diversion!</i> The big ol' truck crashes through the gates and dumps out a
load of zombies. The driver jumps out of the truck in body armor and a
motorcycle helmet with a tinted face shield, firing a pistol and running
to... I'm not sure, they never show her again. (Yes, I said her, because
it looked like a woman's body and also, when people on TV shows wear
motorcycle helmets with tinted face shields, they always turn out to be
women.) Ah, so that's the real attack -- send in the zombies while you remain outside and pick them off one by one and... nope, that's not it either. They unload the zombies and leave. Let's call it a day, fellas!<br />
<br />
So I guess the plan is use the zombies to wipe out Rick's group, but that doesn't seem like a brilliant plan either -- the Governor knows these same people killed probably 10 times that many zombies in order to take over the prison in the first place. Hell, Michonne killed a half-dozen in about three seconds before the Governor even left. Even if there
are, what, 20 zombies wandering around the yard, it's not like that's an
insurmountable problem. <br />
<br />
But I'm sure they'll spend a lot of time talking about it. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-62724185735996653102013-02-11T10:05:00.003-05:002013-02-18T17:27:01.953-05:00The Walking Dead is back!How many eyes rolled in last night's "Season 3.5" premiere of <a href="http://www.amctv.com/shows/the-walking-dead">The Walking Dead</a>, "The Suicide King"?<br />
<br />
<center>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/AiJ6AvX8JPw" width="480"></iframe></center>
<br />
<br />
I don't mean how many eyes popped out and rolled across the ground, although that would be fun to see. No, I mean how many times did something happen that made you roll your eyes. I really like this show, but it drives me crazy sometimes.<br />
<br />
Last night's eye roll count, for me, was four. Spoilers ahead, of course.<br />
<br />
1) Glenn replacing Lori as the "how dare you do exactly what I just told you to do" person in the group. He tells Rick that under no circumstances can Merle be allowed to return to the prison. Daryl says if Merle can't go, he's leaving too. Rick tries to convince Daryl to stay, but Daryl isn't having it. In the very next scene, Glenn is screaming at Rick... for letting Daryl leave. What?<br />
<br />
2) Maggie not telling Glenn that she actually wasn't raped. Glenn obviously thinks she was -- why wouldn't she say she wasn't? I can understand a woman not wanting to tell her boyfriend that she was raped... but in this case she wasn't. The bad guy wanted to make her boyfriend think that she was. Why wouldn't she say she wasn't? Because he wouldn't believe her? OK, but... why wouldn't you try? This show has a long history of characters talking endlessly but not actually saying what needs to be said (paging Michonne...), and it really gets annoying. <br />
<br />
3) Andrea staying with the Governor even after figuring out that he's evil and her friends are still alive. Granted, she doesn't know where her friends are. But you would think she would start making plans to leave, not stand around making speeches endorsing the Governor. <br />
<br />
4) Rick freaking out at the new people even as he surely realizes that they need all the extra hands they can get. I especially love when the others bring up the fact that Oscar proved to be a worthwhile ally, Rick retorts: "Where's Oscar now?" <i>He died fighting for you, dumb ass!</i> Don't blame the Ghost of Lori, either -- he was saying no before she showed up. Speaking of which, I know a lot of people are annoyed with Rick's "I see dead people" moment, but I'm withholding judgment on that for another week. Could be interesting to see him go totally bonkers. <br />
<br />
Again, I really like this show, but I hope they're not sliding back toward the Season 2 morass. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-22803960508316136932013-02-10T21:36:00.002-05:002013-02-10T21:36:49.564-05:00Trouble, troubleSince my eldest daughter has evolved from princess songs to pop songs, I have to hear this song a lot:<br />
<br />
<center><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/vNoKguSdy4Y" width="480"></iframe></center><br />
<br />
Every time I hear it though, I think about this commercial: <br />
<br />
<center><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/lk2B8988ws0" width="459"></iframe></center><br />
<br />
Which is a much better song anyway.<br /><br />
In case you're wondering, it's called "Trouble" by Ray LaMontagne. It might sound like it's from some old Mississippi bluesman in the 1930s, but he's from Maine and it was released in 2004.
<br /><br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/k3pltmw6cmI" width="459"></iframe>
<br /><br />
Great song and I love his voice... so much raw emotion and angst. He really sounds like he's in trouble.<br /><br />
I hope he adopts that little dog and they make each other happy.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-60189095162447151112013-01-31T23:58:00.000-05:002013-02-01T08:09:38.488-05:00With malice toward noneWell, we finally got around to seeing <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443272/">Lincoln</a>.<br />
<br />
<center>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/qiSAbAuLhqs" width="480"></iframe></center>
<br />
<br />
I know it will win a buttload of Oscars, but... am I allowed to say I was a little bored? Was I not supposed to know that (spoiler alert!) Lincoln freed the slaves? <br />
<br />
So if you're like me and you get bored with the actual story, you'll spend a lot of time trying to recognize all the famous actors playing people you sort of remember from American History II. Here's a chart.<br />
<br />
<center>
<table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoTableGrid" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-collapse: collapse; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-insideh: .5pt solid windowtext; mso-border-insidev: .5pt solid windowtext; mso-padding-alt: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-yfti-tbllook: 480;"><tbody>
<tr style="mso-yfti-firstrow: yes; mso-yfti-irow: 0;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: windowtext 1pt solid; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: windowtext 1pt solid; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<strong>Character</strong></div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: windowtext 1pt solid; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<strong>Actor</strong></div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: windowtext 1pt solid; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<strong>“Hey, that’s…”</strong></div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 1;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: windowtext 1pt solid; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Abraham Lincoln</div>
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Daniel Day-Lewis</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
…the guy who is in every movie set in 19<sup>th</sup> century <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">America</st1:place></st1:country-region>.</div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 2;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: windowtext 1pt solid; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Mary Todd Lincoln</div>
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Sally Field</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl_NpdAy3WY">“You like me! Right now, you like me!”</a></div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 3;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: windowtext 1pt solid; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
William Seward</div>
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David Strathairn</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
…the guy from <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0433383/"><span style="color: purple;">Good Night, and Good Luck</span></a>, but let’s face it, you only know him from the Bourne movies.</div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 4;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: windowtext 1pt solid; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Robert Lincoln</div>
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Joseph Gordon-Levitt</div>
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…the kid from Third Rock, but he’d much rather be thought of as the guy from Looper</div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 5;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: windowtext 1pt solid; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
W.N. Bilbo</div>
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James Spader</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
…the guy who really hopes he’s not remembered as Robert California from The Office.</div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 6;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: windowtext 1pt solid; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<st1:place w:st="on">Preston</st1:place> Blair</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Hal Holbrook</div>
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…not the guy from Barney Miller. That’s Hal Linden.</div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 7;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: windowtext 1pt solid; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Robert Latham</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
John Hawkes</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
…the Jewish guy from Deadwood.</div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 8;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: windowtext 1pt solid; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Alexander Stephens</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Jackie Earle Haley</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
…Kelly from Bad News Bears, Rorschach from Watchmen, or the creepy child molester from Little Children.</div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 9;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: windowtext 1pt solid; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Edwin Stanton</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Bruce McGill</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
…D-Day from Animal House.</div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 10;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: windowtext 1pt solid; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
George Pendleton</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Peter McRobbie</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
…Judge Bradley on Law & Order.</div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 11;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: windowtext 1pt solid; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Elizabeth Keckley</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Gloria Reuben</div>
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…Jeanie from ER.</div>
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<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 12;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: windowtext 1pt solid; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Clay Hawkins</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Walton Goggins</div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
…Shane from The Shield, Boyd from Justified.</div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 13; mso-yfti-lastrow: yes;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: windowtext 1pt solid; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Thaddeus Stevens<o:p></o:p></div>
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Tommy Lee Jones<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: #d4d0c8; border-right: windowtext 1pt solid; border-top: #d4d0c8; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0in; width: 2.05in;" valign="top" width="197"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
…Tommy Lee Jones.<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
</center>
Lots of great actors. Lots of great acting. If you're into that kind of thing.<br />
<br />
Personally, I preferred this Lincoln:<br />
<br />
<center>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Tbzfvef0aE0" width="480"></iframe></center>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-17371099625627238752012-07-23T19:02:00.000-04:002013-02-11T10:08:29.335-05:00Meet the SuperhumansTalk about inspiring...<br /><br />
<center><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kKTamH__xuQ" width="480"></iframe></center>
<br />
And how amazing is that Public Enemy song (<a href="http://youtu.be/pCx5Std7mCo" target="new">Harder Than You Think</a>)... absolutely perfect.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-43970143599183731462012-05-05T09:50:00.000-04:002012-05-05T09:50:39.476-04:00Every curse on The SopranosEighty-six episodes, 27 1/2 minutes of cursing.<br />
<br />
<center><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="300" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/2998698?portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="400"></iframe></center>
<br />
Useful for those of you who watched The Sopranos on A&E. Now you can fill in the blanks!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-44869658628706714912012-02-04T08:54:00.011-05:002012-02-04T10:08:14.623-05:00Where have you gone, Jorge Posada?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigiti3vNdKJm8Y8MgsuXpLFmNhJG6RSaZr3OHFOanvvT0UZRqWFsHuQsjaD6C2JHTZzkHA8-lLcM8QiH3kDT1Z-sJCMhO49VD1mqFjhJrCqrOF8gRqrtMVm44gN-DvdqkzlzjQJx2klws/s1600/Casey%252BKotchman%252BTampa%252BBay%252BRays%252BPhoto%252BDay%252B2xMaeL7J_Scl.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 136px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigiti3vNdKJm8Y8MgsuXpLFmNhJG6RSaZr3OHFOanvvT0UZRqWFsHuQsjaD6C2JHTZzkHA8-lLcM8QiH3kDT1Z-sJCMhO49VD1mqFjhJrCqrOF8gRqrtMVm44gN-DvdqkzlzjQJx2klws/s200/Casey%252BKotchman%252BTampa%252BBay%252BRays%252BPhoto%252BDay%252B2xMaeL7J_Scl.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705294556177782018" alt="Casey Kotchman" title="Casey Kotchman"/></a>This week's signing of <strong>Casey Kotchman</strong> by the Indians (1 year, $3 million) probably didn't seem like a lost opportunity to most Yankee fans, but it most certainly was.<br /><br />Remember, the Yankees still need a designated hitter to replace <strong>Jorge Posada</strong> (and <strong>Jesus Montero</strong>). But the good news is, since the Yankees brought back <strong>Andruw Jones</strong> to be half of the platoon (he hit .286/.384/.540 vsL last year), they only need a guy who can hit right-handed pitching, regardless of position or defensive capabilities. Easy, right?<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/transactions/free-agents" target="new">Here are all the free agent batters still on the market</a>, from CBS Sports. The highest OPS vs R of anybody on that list belongs to <strong>Derrek Lee</strong> (.260/.313/.470, .783), followed by <strong>Raul Ibanez</strong> (.256/.307/.440, .747) and <strong>Vlad Guerrero</strong> (.291/.315/.428, .743). Two ex-Yankees who have been brought up several times as options were even worse -- <strong>Johnny Damon</strong> (.255/.314/.401, .715) and <strong>Hideki Matsui</strong> (242/.318/.336, .654). <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyCKuxySFPsdrQi8gDrNRTzZdNlw1A_opDSEgk-vQ3KSXKeCcsgz5mwUKXj_Lp2aDAJWcYrxdx5OG7aZy4y_RU1kjyQLIVuK1M1LV09CD8dd6upf1mnO92k4Rqfv4mQ0qTT5MVMQ2xCr4/s1600/Jorge-Posada.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 146px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyCKuxySFPsdrQi8gDrNRTzZdNlw1A_opDSEgk-vQ3KSXKeCcsgz5mwUKXj_Lp2aDAJWcYrxdx5OG7aZy4y_RU1kjyQLIVuK1M1LV09CD8dd6upf1mnO92k4Rqfv4mQ0qTT5MVMQ2xCr4/s200/Jorge-Posada.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705295065714224546" alt="Jorge Posada" title="Jorge Posada"/></a>Posada's line against right-handed pitching last year? .269/.348/.466 (.814 OPS).<br /><br />That's right. Now that Kotchman (vsR: .313/.394/.444, .838 OPS) is off the market, <i>every remaining free agent batter had a lower OPS vs RHP than Posada did last year.</i> Remember how Jorge was hammered last year as being washed up? We might be longing for that .814 OPS by May.<br /><br />(The other option would be to use Jones as a full-time DH, but considering he hit .173/.303/.406 vsR, it's probably not a good idea.)<br /><br />Yes, I know the Yankee line is "we'll use the DH as a half-day off." Sure, they can DH <strong>Alex Rodriguez</strong> once a week... but who plays third? The same guy who would play short or second -- <strong>Eduardo Nunez</strong>, who hit .259/.313/.360 vsR last year. If they DH one of the outfielders, we're back to Jones, or maybe <strong>Chris Dickerson</strong> (.237/.268/.368, .637 vsR last year). <br /><br />They could try Jorge -- no, not Posada. <strong>Jorge Vazquez</strong>. The Mexican slugger has been in Scranton for two seasons now, hitting .270/.313/.526 in 2010 and .262/.314/.516 in 2011. Unfortunately, he's right-handed, and right-handed pitchers have held him to a .259/.318/.495 (.813 OPS) line. That's right around what Posada did, except Vazquez did it against Triple-A pitching. I'm all for giving Vazquez a chance, but realistically, his Scranton numbers don't indicate he's the answer. <br /><br />The bottom line is every in-house option and every free agent put up weaker numbers than Posada did last year -- and it wasn't like Posada was crushing it last year. <br /><br />So, what do they do? Sign Guerrero or Ibanez and hope they can turn back the clock for a year? Bring back Damon or Matsui and hope nostalgia translates into home runs? Promote Vazquez and hope he reminds us all of <strong>Shane Spencer</strong>?<br /><br />Alas, hope is not a plan.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIQQ4_P0c8bdHsDuH6wL_iFgi3-vbLikwrrv8-c2JEIOCyRqoeh6z2UWz44BpQIwJUnF2815lVT7P-l6GCw2aRTDdR8B-Wf3YdrsRRgv3B8oULHY8kX5PVQ2KHPsmKGD0IMy4Dc20d9Bg/s1600/yoennis-cespedes-4.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 188px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIQQ4_P0c8bdHsDuH6wL_iFgi3-vbLikwrrv8-c2JEIOCyRqoeh6z2UWz44BpQIwJUnF2815lVT7P-l6GCw2aRTDdR8B-Wf3YdrsRRgv3B8oULHY8kX5PVQ2KHPsmKGD0IMy4Dc20d9Bg/s200/yoennis-cespedes-4.jpg" border="0" alt="Yoenis Cespedes" title="Yoenis Cespedes" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705295330288825218" /></a>There is an X-factor -- 26-year-old centerfielder <strong>Yoenis Cespedes</strong>. As with all Cuban imports, he may not actually be 26. (I'm reminded of <strong>Brian Cashman</strong>'s great line about <strong>Orlando Hernandez</strong> -- "he's 29 if he signs here, 32 if he signs anywhere else.") But a lot of people seem to think he'll be a 20/20 player with a decent batting average. The Yankees don't need a centerfielder -- they have two on the roster, with <strong>Curtis Granderson</strong> and <strong>Brett Gardner</strong> -- but having a guy who can play every outfield position is always a useful guy to have.<br /><br />But someone is probably going to offer Cespedes a lot of money to be a starting centerfielder, and the Yankees seem to have found fiscal responsibility this off-season. If they couldn't beat a $3 million offer for Kotchman -- or even <strong>Jim Thome</strong> at $1.5 million -- what makes you think they're going to sign Cespedes?<br /><br />So get ready for Ibanez, who will have some electrifying home run calls from <strong>John Sterling</strong> (I suggest "Ibanez, you bomb yas!") but pile up the Ks and GDPs until he's released in July to make way for whoever they can get for <strong>Dellin Betances</strong>.<br /><br />But they'll still be 10 games up on the Red Sox.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-900671895860473342012-01-14T07:30:00.009-05:002012-01-14T22:04:41.277-05:00Yankees get busyThe Yankees had a quiet off-season... until last night.<br /><br />It's easy to forget that they had re-signed C.C. Sabathia to a five-year contract expansion on October 31. But other than that... the highlight was getting <a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20120111&content_id=26318738&vkey=news_nyy&c_id=nyy" target="new">Don Mattingly's kid</a>, and apologies to Donnie, but that's not exactly a highlight.<br /><br />But now... wow. <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/writers/cliff_corcoran/01/14/pineda-montero-trade/?xid=cnnbin" target="new">Jesus Montero (and Hector Noesi) for Michael Pineda (and Jose Campos)</a>. <br /><br />Then a few minutes later, they announce the signing of <strong>Hiroki Kuroda</strong>.<br /><br />So now the Yankee rotation is: Sabathia, Pineda, Kuroda, Nova, and <strong>Phil Hughes</strong>/<strong>Freddy Garcia</strong>/<strong>A.J. Burnett</strong>. Assuming they don't just release Burnett and eat the $33 million (yes, $33 million) they owe him for 2012 and 2013.<br /><br />So... good deal, bad deal?<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2whKPlERwNvog-zf5rAFdo4euP6-HQTF4ccAyq5M5PdC3x6mZZDsAHfQ8dPk-8IMhZQ_sh2GBNCezi-utHU-OGQw2AOWT5SS1X-7tFzYuC5AtjGs8b8t-Yl528P6vrCP58WFOiy_fErk/s1600/montero.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2whKPlERwNvog-zf5rAFdo4euP6-HQTF4ccAyq5M5PdC3x6mZZDsAHfQ8dPk-8IMhZQ_sh2GBNCezi-utHU-OGQw2AOWT5SS1X-7tFzYuC5AtjGs8b8t-Yl528P6vrCP58WFOiy_fErk/s320/montero.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697570057500247698" alt="Jesus Montero" title="Jesus Montero"/></a>Montero is one of the top hitting prospects of the game, even if he couldn't be an every day catcher (and he couldn't). I have no doubt he'll go on to have a very good career as a power-hitting 1B/DH. He's a lot to give up. But his path to first base is blocked by <strong>Mark Teixeira</strong>, and they need the DH slot as a way to give guys like <strong>Alex Rodriguez</strong> "half a day off." It wasn't an ideal situation.<br /><br />Noesi is a pretty good arm as well... 4.47 ERA, 1.51 WHIP, 22 BB, 45 K in 56.1 IP for his MLB debut last year, but a career 3.17 ERA, 1.10 WHIP with 71 BB, 365 K in 377.2 IP in six years in the minors. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4PMxNGLSPaZFQNUYFRdObUPnknwmkozHewWzvbPPlxG9Z-p-XDuFqUARC6rnSyEry-cK5VZ-wa0tt5GmrlE_5DC4OafwYa30BbQ27MeQfx7yoj8GeHQyt8jin2xeLnfjp5YKhb3CtFD8/s1600/250865_Michael_Pineda_extra_large.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4PMxNGLSPaZFQNUYFRdObUPnknwmkozHewWzvbPPlxG9Z-p-XDuFqUARC6rnSyEry-cK5VZ-wa0tt5GmrlE_5DC4OafwYa30BbQ27MeQfx7yoj8GeHQyt8jin2xeLnfjp5YKhb3CtFD8/s320/250865_Michael_Pineda_extra_large.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697570358300795986" alt="Michael Pineda" title="Michael Pineda"/></a>I have mixed feelings about Pineda. First, the pros: He had an outstanding rookie year (3.74 ERA, 1.10 WHIP, 55 BB, 173 K in 171.0 IP). He's big (6 foot 7), he has a legit MLB stuff (mid-90s fastball that can touch 98 and what <strong>Dave Niehaus</strong> called a "nasty, diabolical slider"), and he hasn't been worked too hard by the Mariners -- he pitched 171 innings in the majors last year, up from 139.1 (in the minors) the year before.<br /><br />But there are some things to worry about. He had a 3.03 ERA, 1.03 WHIP, 0.8 HR/9 in the first half... 5.12 ERA, 1.22 WHIP, 1.2 HR/9 in the second half. Was he hiding an injury? Was it a case of batters figuring him out the second time around the league? Was he fatigued? (There's been a lot of talk already that he's not the best conditioned athlete in the majors. Good thing we have C.C. to talk to him about that.)<br /><br />And he posted a 1.95 ERA, 0.916 WHIP, .519 OPS allowed against teams with losing records... but 5.42 ERA, 1.27 WHIP, .711 OPS allowed against teams that were .500 or better. That's... troubling.<br /><br />To that end, in his one career start against the Red Sox: 7 ER, 8 H, 1 BB, 4 K, 1 HR in 4.1 IP. It's just one start, but still -- I'd rather be comforted by success in a small sample size and be able to magnamiously dismiss it, than allow my superstitious side to claim it's a harbinger of things to come. (For what it's worth, the Yankees touched him up for 3 runs on 3 hits and 5 walks in 5 innings the only time they faced him.)<br /><br />I'd feel a lot better if they got back <strong>Felix Hernandez</strong>. Actually, I'm surprised the Mariners dealt Pineda (who won't even be arbitration eligible until 2014) instead of King Felix (who has $49 M and three years left on his contract). Surely they could have gotten another prospect or two from the Yankees (or somebody else) if they'd traded Hernandez instead of Pineda.<br /><br />What about Campos? He's not exactly a throw-in, coming off an outstanding low-A season (2.32 ERA, 0.97 WHIP, 13 BB, 85 K in 81.1 IP). He's supposedly 19 years old (born in Venezuela). He was ranked as one of the Mariners' top prospects, so what the heck. Impossible to tell what will happen with a guy this young, but his career is off to a good start.<br /><br />Oh yeah... and Kuroda.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxWm0uaper12LxmsqY6CHan1jZ2ajikR_649idaFykpJKDwgawICYPApXnzK16s7juqrKDpKBlgKgNpBK8pzjzch25jt8o6SN3z2U0L_ggYiM7gxHfmnYeOzEqOfhJ_bygEBBHf0kVJ48/s1600/300px-Hiroki_Kuroda_%25282010%2529.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 254px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxWm0uaper12LxmsqY6CHan1jZ2ajikR_649idaFykpJKDwgawICYPApXnzK16s7juqrKDpKBlgKgNpBK8pzjzch25jt8o6SN3z2U0L_ggYiM7gxHfmnYeOzEqOfhJ_bygEBBHf0kVJ48/s320/300px-Hiroki_Kuroda_%25282010%2529.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697570659906843410" alt="Hiroki Kuroda" title="Hiroki Kuroda"/></a>For some reason when people talk about all the Japanese League disasters (Irabu, Igawa, Matsuzaka), they forget about Kuroda, who has quietly had a good career for the Dodgers (3.45 ERA, 1.19 WHIP, 163 BB, 523 K in 699.0 IP over four seasons). Of course, he's about to turn 37 and he's only pitched in the National League (and Dodger Stadium at that). <br /><br />However, I will point out that his career home/road splits are very close (3.43 ERA, 1.16 WHIP, .661 OPS at home; .3.48, 1.21 WHIP, .687 OPS on the road)., and he hasn't been demolished in interleague play (4.33 ERA, 1.15 WHIP, 11 BB, 55 K in 68.2 IP). Like Pineda, he's faced the Red Sox just once, but at least he did a good job (7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 ER, 0 HR, 1 BB, 9 K).<br /><br />So, bottom line. In the space of an hour, did the Yankees suddenly have a good off-season? <br /><br />Kuroda is a no-brainer. Let's assume he comes to the A.L. and pitches at a league-average level for about 200 innings. No matter what, at $10 million for one year, and as a #4 starter, it's a low-risk signing. If he turns into Burnett, at least we're not stuck with him for the next five years.<br /><br />As for the other deal... <strong>Of course</strong> you trade a 23-year-old DH for an 23-year-old ace -- you make that deal every day of the week. On the other hand, remember <strong>Edinson Volquez</strong> for <strong>Josh Hamilton</strong>? Pitchers are a tricky business. Five years ago, the top pitching prospects in baseball were Hughes, <strong>Homer Bailey</strong> and <strong>Andrew Miller</strong>. Of course, the #4 guy worked out -- <strong>Tim Lincecum</strong>.<br /><br />There are reasons to worry about Pineda, and there's always a chance that in 30 years Pineda is remembered only as the answer to a trivia question ("who was traded for Hall of Famer Jesus Montero in 2012?"). But let's face it: If the Red Sox traded their top prospect for Pineda, I'd be pissed. It must be a good deal.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-63271588274317242732011-12-26T20:27:00.003-05:002011-12-26T20:30:33.534-05:00Never cheat on a Packer fan...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirtvsovFNC6nmwkiSbcBZc6N-rfA0k3eS-upxw-pOfkCAlraP1xLbNtOzHUNVbd7hwvozHU58mxE3UA7e882NCiRaNWKubJ03OhPU7kuWvOERncadrJZeEbPQGIKF_OQqkGlQyXv9O3_0/s1600/packers_fan_uses_game_tickets_to_get_back_at_cheating_ex.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirtvsovFNC6nmwkiSbcBZc6N-rfA0k3eS-upxw-pOfkCAlraP1xLbNtOzHUNVbd7hwvozHU58mxE3UA7e882NCiRaNWKubJ03OhPU7kuWvOERncadrJZeEbPQGIKF_OQqkGlQyXv9O3_0/s400/packers_fan_uses_game_tickets_to_get_back_at_cheating_ex.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5690613674372419826" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://deadspin.com/5871064/green-bay-packers-fan-exacts-phenomenal-revenge-on-ex+boyfriend" target="new">...especially one with game tickets at Lambeau Field.</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-55434192061019530122011-11-30T08:05:00.001-05:002011-11-30T08:09:05.798-05:00If you sprinkle while you tinkle...I think every guy has come up with this idea at one point or another... well, someone finally went and invented it.<br /><br /><iframe width="480" height="270" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/OlCe0VIL0Eg?fs=1" frameborder="0" allowFullScreen=""></iframe><br /><br />The most surprising thing about this to me is how British people say "urinals."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-42409980344768277822011-11-16T07:35:00.002-05:002011-11-16T07:59:51.781-05:00I know zombies traditionally move slow......but goddamn Walking Dead, are we really already done with <a href="http://www.hitfix.com/blogs/whats-alan-watching/posts/the-walking-dead-chupacabra-roll-in-the-hay" target="new">Episode 5</a> this season and we are <strong>still</strong> looking for Sophia?<br /><br />I don't mind a slow-moving show with a lot of character development and intrigue... but this is just a slow-moving show. None of the characters have developed. There's no intrigue.<br /><br />It's time to speed this apocalypse up!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-59058395712092594272011-10-16T07:54:00.002-04:002011-10-16T12:52:31.965-04:00Every zombie kill on The Walking DeadI don't like Miser's cover of "Zombie"... I don't like the first 80 seconds of Rick walking out of the hospital... and I know they missed more than a few.<br /><br />But still, this will get you in the mood for tonight's Season 2 premiere!<br /><br /><iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/30462838?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" width="400" height="225" frameborder="0" webkitAllowFullScreen allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/30462838">Every Zombie Kill in "The Walking Dead"</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/flavorwire">Flavorpill</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p><br /><br />UPDATE: Ut-oh... looks like they took the video down! Bastards.<br /><br />This isn't every kill, but it's a giant-sized recap.<br /><br /><iframe width="480" height="270" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/JM1p87zlCXQ?fs=1" frameborder="0" allowFullScreen=""></iframe><br /><br />Also: Check out Nerve's <a href="http://www.nerve.com/tv/five-things-emthe-walking-dead-em-needs-to-do-in-season-two" target="new">Five Things The Walking Dead Needs To Do In Season Two</a>.<br /><br />I agree with most of their points, although I don't think they "forgot" about <strong>Merle</strong> as much as they're saving him to turn into a Big Bad -- one who will be familiar to those of us who read the comics. Still, I have to agree with the big points: Keep it moving, keep it creepy (not just gory), and sometimes, you have to have some humor. <strong>Daryl </strong>and <strong>Glenn </strong>shared some great lines in Season One... keep it up!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-72828424691391416062011-10-13T22:47:00.002-04:002011-10-13T22:53:45.387-04:00Too Much Moneyball<object id="jest46873" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://www.jest.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=46873&use_node_id=true&fullscreen=1" width="600" height="338"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"/><param name="wmode" value="transparent"/><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"/><param name="movie" quality="best" value="http://www.jest.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=46873&use_node_id=true&fullscreen=1"/><embed src="http://www.jest.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=46873&use_node_id=true&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="600" height="338" allowScriptAccess="always"></embed></object><br /><br />I'm sure they didn't mean to do this, but this video perfectly sums up the counter-argument to people who say the Yankees spend too much money on players.<br /><br />"$400 million in ticket sales... $75 million from our cable network... $5 million in Derek Jeter bobbleheads. What are we going to do with all of it?"<br /><br />"We could keep it?"<br /><br />That's basically it. Yes, the Yankees spend more on their payroll than other other team. They also make more money than any other team. What do you want the Yankees to do with their money? Do you want the Steinbrenners to put it into their pocket? Or put it into their product?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-8754846792964271092011-09-15T21:10:00.005-04:002011-09-15T21:23:04.850-04:00Amish 4 Life<iframe width="459" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/lOfZLb33uCg?fs=1" frameborder="0" allowFullScreen=""></iframe><br /><br /><a href="http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/09/14/amish-men-jailed-over-refusal-to-use-orange-safety-triangle-on-buggies/" target="new">Eight Amish men in Kentucky were recently jailed</a> for refusing to attach orange reflective triangles to their buggies. <br /><br />It's true. Here are their mugshots:<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0o6sL4J1byrH5oMXSMjSVcKiKbHoM_1vWI_QVfXd1SvOB_oR5yEG-Tw1BFctGtzr5cLP0oQCT6FAovGNpeLnvZ9A3CK8BZFCl_2uYhTMzo83vI8beu-AGQ2Acg6o7meyXaEhKx2Rwtgs/s1600/amish8.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0o6sL4J1byrH5oMXSMjSVcKiKbHoM_1vWI_QVfXd1SvOB_oR5yEG-Tw1BFctGtzr5cLP0oQCT6FAovGNpeLnvZ9A3CK8BZFCl_2uYhTMzo83vI8beu-AGQ2Acg6o7meyXaEhKx2Rwtgs/s400/amish8.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5652761263387848578" /></a><br /><br />The men, from the hardcore Old Order Swartzentruber Amish -- that's O.G., yo -- don't have a problem with reflectors. Their problem is with the color orange.<br /><br />It seems the OOSA think that the color orange is too garish. They agreed to use gray reflective tape, but the state said they gray tape wasn't visible enough during the day.<br /><br />Um... what? Listen, if you don't see a <strong>horse and buggy</strong> on the side of the road during the day, is an orange triangle really going to help? Maybe the problem isn't the Amish, but Kentucky drivers?<br /><br />But that's not even my biggest problem with this. The Amish, when arrested, were issued the typical prison jumpsuits. But instead of the usual orange jumpsuits, they were issued jumpsuits that had been dyed gray.<br /><br />So... the state agrees that they shouldn't be forced to wear orange?<br /><br />Case dismissed.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6166340865546614073.post-18087847881154393232011-09-07T22:57:00.013-04:002011-09-08T00:00:22.352-04:00What The Hell Do I Know? NFL 2011 Edition!It's fun to make these predictions in September, because then it gives you something to laugh at in February.<br /><br />AFC East<br /><b>New York Jets (11-5)</b><br />I'm not sure the offense is that much better with <b>Plaxico Burress</b> and <B>Derrick Mason</b> instead of <b>Braylon Edwards</b> and <b>Jerricho Cotchery</b>. It's just impossible to know what either guy has left in the tank. But the defense is still one of the best in the NFL, as is the O-line. I expect a lot of low-scoring, ugly wins... but they will be wins.<br /><br /><b>New England Patriots (10-6)</b><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRz7C2KOKflNJ_TzeqiidKwVkzpay-Yr1wXw36Wh8BlynG0R1aZj58ics57w9KkfEiwfkoy75rtX_F8qbIEIQO9fDXeVBRv-ociz-j7s60nEK21nkVIMoyeYzNhfo3EAAraUVQz4Cr3I8/s1600/tom-brady-gisele-bundchen-honeymoon.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRz7C2KOKflNJ_TzeqiidKwVkzpay-Yr1wXw36Wh8BlynG0R1aZj58ics57w9KkfEiwfkoy75rtX_F8qbIEIQO9fDXeVBRv-ociz-j7s60nEK21nkVIMoyeYzNhfo3EAAraUVQz4Cr3I8/s320/tom-brady-gisele-bundchen-honeymoon.jpg" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5649823259632499730" alt="Mrs. Tom Brady agrees with my prediction... Pats will finish 2nd in 2011" title="Mrs. Tom Brady agrees with my prediction... Pats will finish 2nd in 2011"/></a>I'm not sure why everyone is just handing the AFC East to the Patriots this year; just out of habit, I suppose? The Patriots signed 34-year-old <b>Shaun Ellis</b>, 30-year-old <b>Albert Haynesworth</b> and 32-year-old <b>Andre Carter</b> for the defense, and 33-year-old <b>Chad Ochocinco</b> for offense. Everyone is praising them for those signings. If any other team signed those four, would they be called smart, or desperate? <b>Tom Brady</b> is coming off an unbelievable year, but his offensive line isn't the stone wall it used to be. I think they will be good, but not good enough to hold off the Jets and win the division.<br /><br /><b>Buffalo Bills (6-10)</b><br />When do they actually start trying to rebuild? Or do they really think they can build a playoff team around <B>Ryan Fitzpatrick</b>? They are just good enough to be almost mediocre. <br /><br /><b>Miami Dolphins (5-11)</b><br />They still have a good defense, but what's going to happen with the offense? Will they pretend <B>Reggie Bush</b> is a real running back, or will they use him as a slot receiver/scatback/pain in the ass? That would probably play to <B>Chad Henne</b>'s strengths, assuming he has any. Will <B>Tony Sparano</b> be the first coach fired in 2011?<br /><br />AFC North<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl_TZcosDVEeU5fRO9JyDOgodtShz_57ivuIxyagPeh4AAEYZhOSI6w6bz2Dd3IE7G1vsGiz9lQEepr1_VnVvGvI-0OLh7zqXW0K6s1mS0cn9GK8sWTSP4TKqGdjxWo1GiZy6pCrUyJG4/s1600/andy-dalton-cincinnati-bengals.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 250px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl_TZcosDVEeU5fRO9JyDOgodtShz_57ivuIxyagPeh4AAEYZhOSI6w6bz2Dd3IE7G1vsGiz9lQEepr1_VnVvGvI-0OLh7zqXW0K6s1mS0cn9GK8sWTSP4TKqGdjxWo1GiZy6pCrUyJG4/s320/andy-dalton-cincinnati-bengals.jpg" border="0" alt="Even Andy Dalton asks... who the fuck is Andy Dalton?" title="Even Andy Dalton asks... who the fuck is Andy Dalton?"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5649824002761925682" /></a><b>Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4)</b><br />The Steelers are like Knish in <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0128442/maindetails" target="new">Rounders</a>. They just grind it out, week after week, year after year. Nothing flashy, but it earns enough to buy you a delivery truck. Or something.<br /><br /><b>Baltimore Ravens (10-6)</B><br />It must be frustrating to be in the same division as the Steelers. And the Browns are catching up.<br /><br /><B>Cleveland Browns (7-9)</b><br />Creeping toward respectability.<br /><br /><B>Cincinnati Bengals (3-13)</b><br />Yeah... <B>Andy Dalton</B> is the quarterback now. Who dey! Who dey! Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengals? Anybody!<br /><br />AFC South<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqpOrGiNXZfanGb_siFNnlv4kcCqZLC0dzyBoDiwF10UZO76jjXp07nFePzWgJSnUBXLkvQ7MPb6gsbSFb5Ilp9G9tEQpOdFgfgqabMSfSxprWuV9aj9Yq8lXE2q9vBRjvGlUGYAgCBK8/s1600/Chris-Johnson1-720540.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqpOrGiNXZfanGb_siFNnlv4kcCqZLC0dzyBoDiwF10UZO76jjXp07nFePzWgJSnUBXLkvQ7MPb6gsbSFb5Ilp9G9tEQpOdFgfgqabMSfSxprWuV9aj9Yq8lXE2q9vBRjvGlUGYAgCBK8/s320/Chris-Johnson1-720540.jpg" border="0" title="Chris Johnson isn't even waiting until February to laugh at my predictions." alt="Chris Johnson isn't even waiting until February to laugh at my predictions." id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5649824734289092802" /></a><b>Tennessee Titans (10-6)</b><br />What the hell, I'll go out on a limb and pick an upset. The offense will be better and the defense is still pretty good. They definitely don't win the division if #18 is healthy in Indy or #23 is healthy in Houston. But they're not. So, yeah! Write it down, Titans are the AFC South champs! Man, this will be <strong>hilarious</strong> in February.<br /><br /><B>Houston Texans (9-7)</b><br />I know <B>Arian Foster</b> says he's healthy, and maybe he plays in all 16 games this year, but I just keep thinking about <B>Darrelle Revis</b> last year when he tried to come back from that hammy. It takes awhile to get back to 100%. The offense is good, but not good enough to make up for this horrible defense. <br /><br /><B>Indianapolis Colts (8-8)</b><br />If <B>Peyton Manning</b> was 100%, what would you predict... another 10-win season? So let's say he misses the first month of the season, and the Colts go 0-3. Then he comes back on Oct. 3 (conveniently, for the Monday Night game against Tampa Bay). 8-5 seems like a reasonable prediction the rest of the way. <br /><br /><B>Jacksonville Jaguars (6-10)</b><br />It would have been fun to predict everyone in this division at 8-8, but why oh why did the Jags have to their quarterback a week before the season starts -- especially when his replacement is <B>Luke McCown</b>?<br /><br />AFC West<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJmiXrUW5ylEWTjwabLPTCV5olyU9aOWdx4MzJclG9ZqPzfv08jWivlUhb7lpGoBMSMjz3Fv61c15pH882T5APEQhcx-odI2nte8RMRMbhjzk-JcwIuXhsE1WpwgR5D2bl3J4ewNrZ3Gs/s1600/vincent-jackson.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 315px; height: 275px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJmiXrUW5ylEWTjwabLPTCV5olyU9aOWdx4MzJclG9ZqPzfv08jWivlUhb7lpGoBMSMjz3Fv61c15pH882T5APEQhcx-odI2nte8RMRMbhjzk-JcwIuXhsE1WpwgR5D2bl3J4ewNrZ3Gs/s320/vincent-jackson.jpg" border="0" alt="Conversion rate: 1 Jackson = 2 Naanees or 3¼ Ajirotutus" title="Conversion rate: 1 Jackson = 2 Naanees or 3¼ Ajirotutus" "id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5649825304766394274" /></a><B>San Diego Chargers (11-5)</b><br />Remember all those games last season when you had to figure out how to spell <B>Legedu Naanee</b> and <B>Seyi Ajirotutu</b> to sign them as free agents for your fantasy football team? A full season of <b>Vincent Jackson</b> will help. <br /><br /><b>Kansas City Chiefs (7-9)</b><br />The Chiefs had an easy schedule last year; this year is a lot tougher.<br /><br /><b>Oakland Raiders (6-10)</b><br />They should be fun to watch, anyway.<br /><br /><b>Denver Broncos (6-10)</b><br />They won't be fun to watch. They're not really a six win team, but their home field advantage gives them a couple extra wins every season.<br /><br />NFC East<br /><B>Philadelphia Eagles (12-4)</b><br />Yeah, I guess I'm buying the hype. The defense should be very good. <B>Michael Vick</b>, assuming he doesn't miss half the season, can just take over a football game. His O-line isn't very good, but then again, forcing Vick to scramble is just a bad idea anyway.<br /><br /><B>Dallas Cowboys (9-7)</b><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvR5tPjPG2OTC68dZwo0tzA8DPdvmHwHbYP9I-1v4pedZHdNMiffxkvGwBjXh6iM-raB5F-NQ9X54Xlq2gO6ED6Jt12Ql5TJpQe_dRB0Ua57Ue6qCzcoNGUGNhuorxwwOZzZkr5PqIY6U/s1600/andrew-luck-stanford.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 223px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvR5tPjPG2OTC68dZwo0tzA8DPdvmHwHbYP9I-1v4pedZHdNMiffxkvGwBjXh6iM-raB5F-NQ9X54Xlq2gO6ED6Jt12Ql5TJpQe_dRB0Ua57Ue6qCzcoNGUGNhuorxwwOZzZkr5PqIY6U/s320/andrew-luck-stanford.jpg" border="0" alt="Conveniently, Andrew Luck already looks good in red and white" title="Conveniently, Andrew Luck already looks good in red and white"/></a>Getting rid of <B>Wade Phillips</b> is worth three wins.<br /><br /><B>New York Giants (6-10)</b> <br />The injuries are already piling up. I think this will be <B>Tom Coughlin</b>'s last season, finally.<br /><br /><B>Washington Redskins (3-13)</b><br /><B>Daniel Snyder</b> is supposedly a huge fan of <B>John Beck</B>. Somehow I don't think that will stop him from drafting <B>Andrew Luck</B>.<br /><br />NFC North<br /><B>Green Bay Packers (12-4)</b><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7MOkmezEKYJMVtt_bEo1FBosIpTIQdZhohwxXSZQqJen2KRfqwfbmL_8gyTeZ7zr7jkkPAjE55DVuy-pw_fQAWy_Ft2tAQ59yLag96OnqNGy1AM8VVO5-hST2tWErLGKO_eD3DNSTBlY/s1600/jermichael-finley-opow-7898.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7MOkmezEKYJMVtt_bEo1FBosIpTIQdZhohwxXSZQqJen2KRfqwfbmL_8gyTeZ7zr7jkkPAjE55DVuy-pw_fQAWy_Ft2tAQ59yLag96OnqNGy1AM8VVO5-hST2tWErLGKO_eD3DNSTBlY/s320/jermichael-finley-opow-7898.jpg" border="0" title="If you can win a Super Bowl without Jermichael Finley, what will they be able to do with him? Repeat!" alt="If you can win a Super Bowl without Jermichael Finley, what will they be able to do with him? Repeat!" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5649827224723529954" /></a>Yes, I am a big homer. But they won the Super Bowl last year even after losing all those players to injuries. Now they're back at full strength. And the rest of this division just isn't very good. <br /><br /><B>Chicago Bears (8-8)</b><br />Am I the only one who saw the Bears play last year? They went 11-5, yeah... but they had four wins against third-string quarterbacks and one win gifted by the refs on the so-called Calvin Johnson Rule. They're good on defense and great on special teams, but their offense is awful. <br /><br /><B>Detroit Lions (8-8)</b> <br />So many people think the Lions are underrated, they're now overrated. Their defense is good and getting better, but their offense is still <B>Calvin Johnson</b>, an injury prone quarterback and no running game.<br /><br /><B>Minnesota Vikings (6-10)</b><br />The Vikings, even post-Favre, were an old team... then they went and traded for <B>Donovan McNabb</b>. They lost <b>Sidney Rice</b> and <B>Ray Edwards</b> and <B>Pat Williams</B>. Last year they won 6 games. We'll see if they can do it again.<br /><br />NFC South<br /><B>Atlanta Falcons (11-5)</B><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLSN4_IQkl1DrPlCJCo9Llo7blE5ELfO2wNEOnOnlVrrXAXMzBThExcy3cuR0xB2WY0dcHs22M5ZobTZIrzJTBvIDwwzfLCM_FtxXAfnGgCDPDfKlChKQc1aXmrDJHdiWBv12B3RGVtdY/s1600/jerry-glanville.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 176px; height: 183px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLSN4_IQkl1DrPlCJCo9Llo7blE5ELfO2wNEOnOnlVrrXAXMzBThExcy3cuR0xB2WY0dcHs22M5ZobTZIrzJTBvIDwwzfLCM_FtxXAfnGgCDPDfKlChKQc1aXmrDJHdiWBv12B3RGVtdY/s320/jerry-glanville.jpg" border="0" title="Did the Falcons secretly bring back Jerry Glanville?" alt="Did the Falcons secretly bring back Jerry Glanville?" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5649827979521602066" /></a>It looked like the run-n-shoot was back this preseason as <b>Matt Ryan</b> was airing it out. The offense should be able to put up lots of points; even if the defense is just mediocre, that should be enough to win some shoot-outs. Yee haw!<br /><br /><B>New Orleans Saints (10-6)</b><br />The <B>Drew Brees</B> Show is still fun to watch, but it is getting a little predictable, no?<br /><br /><B>Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-9)</b><br />I'm still not quite sure how they got to 10 wins last year. <br /><br /><B>Carolina Panthers (5-11)</B><br />Well, watching <B>Cam Newton</B> should be fun...<br /><br />NFC West<br /><b>Arizona Cardinals (8-8)</b><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNLQNoD0VkCYHLlFqweMz64vAetvil0UcYRDINN-NZTwMplxHDaNQEi301cgLldPtGwCkomRCvtnF-6O1t-d4UxVkU0EXoTCc2xJ0Ys8bZFUqBeKEFWrez27zHjntNpwgyFiz4NHzR1ZA/s1600/larryfitzgerald.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 252px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNLQNoD0VkCYHLlFqweMz64vAetvil0UcYRDINN-NZTwMplxHDaNQEi301cgLldPtGwCkomRCvtnF-6O1t-d4UxVkU0EXoTCc2xJ0Ys8bZFUqBeKEFWrez27zHjntNpwgyFiz4NHzR1ZA/s320/larryfitzgerald.jpg" border="0" title="Larry Fitzgerald: Hey, we're going to have a quarterback this year? Cool!" alt="Larry Fitzgerald: Hey, we're going to have a quarterback this year? Cool!" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5649828510659826226" /></a>Hey, when you're in the NFC West, anything can happen. The Cards have a better quarterback in <B>Kevin Kolb</b>, which is good news for <B>Larry Fitzgerald</b>'s fantasy owners. But they still seem to have no idea what to do at running back. Still, .500 should be good enough to win what continues to be the worst division in the NFL.<br /><br /><B>St. Louis Rams (7-9)</b><br />Hey, good running back, developing quarterback... even if they wind up with the same record as last year, they're still moving in the right direction. And since this is the NFC West, one lucky break could make them the division champions.<br /><br /><B>San Francisco 49ers (7-9)</b><br />Like the Bills, the 49ers don't seem to have a particular rebuilding plan. Once again, it's <B>Alex Smith</B> running the show... for the first five or six games, anyway. But once again... you never know what's going to happen in the NFC West.<br /><br /><B>Seattle Seahawks (5-11)</B><br />Um, OK. Yes, this is the NFC West, but we probably know the Seahawks aren't going to win the division behind <B>Tarvaris Jackson</b>. <br /><br /><b>Playoffs Round 1:</b><br />Baltimore @ San Diego: San Diego<br />New England @ Tennessee: Patriots<br />Dallas @ Atlanta: Falcons<br />New Orleans @ Arizona: Saints<br /><br /><b>Playoffs Round 2:</b><br />San Diego @ New York: Jets<br />New England @ Pittsburgh: Steelers<br />Atlanta @ Philadelphia: Falcons<br />New Orleans @ Green Bay: Packers<br /><br /><b>Playoffs Round 3:</b><br />New York @ Pittsburgh: Jets<br />Atlanta @ Green Bay: Packers<br /><br /><B>Super Bowl:</B><br />Packers 24, Jets 13<br /><br />See you in February!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0