Other Things Rush Doesn't Believe In

Not that anyone was rushing to get diet advice from Rush Limbaugh anyway, but he is advocating the so-called Twinkie Diet -- which isn't eating nothing but twinkies, but don't let the facts get in the way of a good story. Anyway, Limbaugh used the Twinkie Diet as an opportunity to bash Michelle Obama. It seems that Mrs. Obama's latest liberal cause is to combat obesity. (Who would have thought that being against obesity could be controversial, but...) The First Lady thinks you can fight obesity through diet and exercise. Limbaugh, of course, thinks diet and exercise is not how you lose weight.

I'm not kidding.

One of the reasons I know what I know is that I know liberals, and I know liberals lie, and if Michelle Obama's gonna be out there ripping into "food desserts" and saying, "This is why people are fat," I know it's not true. "Rush, do you really believe that? It's that simple to you, liberals lie?" Yes, it is, folks. Once you learn that, once you come to grips with that, once you accept that, the rest is easy. Very, very simple.

If a liberal believes it, it's wrong. Michelle Obama believes diet and exercise will help you lose weight; ergo, they won't.

A brief list of other things that liberals believe and therefore must be wrong:

• Measure twice, cut once.
• Don't run while carrying scissors.
• Split aces and 8s.
• Women and seamen don't mix.
• A bad day fishing is better than a good day working.
• Shave with the grain.
• The ground can't cause a fumble.
• Never fight a land war in Asia.*

*Apparently this one is no longer believed by liberals either.